Today is the Full Moon - I lit a candle this morning but it infront of the window and gazed at the moon, in the middle of my quiet moment a story spread out before my eyes, the one I'm going to let you read now, a story of Mother Earth...
I feel pain, it is excruciating, it is far from numbing – but it is birth. I am being born, I chose this and still I wish at times that I had not chosen this existence, but I catch myself at those moments, and choose again to stay. The rocks hit me, all around me they puncture my skin, my surface, never reaching down to my core, my soul. I chose this, it is almost hard to remember, this pain has lasted so long but according to time this all started billions of years ago. At the exhale.
Luna had my hand, her touch was soothing as we waited. Her long white silvery hair was braided to two thick braids framing both sides of her face, her icy blue eyes were serene, more serene than mine. I closed my eyes for a second, this was my destiny, today or in the millions of years to come I would do this, it was a matter of wither I would do it in the next exhale or not. Luna, her presence always sooths me. It is her talent, her energy is so nurturing that many seek her just for her presence, I am honored to call her my friend as well as my sister. I feel - I am the opposite of her. Where she is light, white and looks fragile and ethereal, I am strong, build to withstand battles, my shoulders are broad for a woman, my body is lean and muscles tight, my hair is a deep brown, glossy and curly, my eyes are a mixture of deep greens and vivid blues, my mouth set is somewhat stubborn pout. I am more like my brother than my sister. He sits by the double doors to the council, his left leg is thrown on the armrest of the chair, he looks very casual, but anyone can feel the pulsating energy of him, he has a pull, magnetism than cannot escape even the simplest of life form. He grins, blond curls touch his jaw line his fire and flame color eyes sparkle.
‘Don’t be nervous.’ His leg bounces a little against the armrest, he seems perfectly at ease to go in front of the council. ‘You will either get it or you won’t.’ He shrugs.
‘Yes, very easy for you to say, as you have already been deemed fit for the next exhale.’ I say and immediate regret my rashness. ‘I am nervous, I should no longer be, but I am, this wait is making me nervous.’
Solar glances at his sister and something passes in that look. He then turns back to me and grins the familiar crooked smile. ‘It is fine. Breathe sister, inhale, exhale, you will be fine, nothing goes pass the council unseen. You have nothing to worry about.’
The double doors open with a clang and out steps a woman with very dark skin and flaming red hair and equally bright eyes, she smiles at me, Andromeda. She walks to me and takes my other hand, she is excited, almost cannot control herself, she is perfectly exuberant.
‘I will see you soon!’ She says, glances at my brother, but again who doesn’t, and walks past us to the Gate.
I watch her walk away, I feel a delighted peace, her peace.
‘Terra.’ The council calls me.
Luna releases my hand and lets me go first, she and Solar follow me, the double doors close behind us.
The hall is white, no color but all color, there is twelve in the council, sitting by the table, it is made of a giant slab crystal, the crystal table, intricate geometric structure of it is almost impossible to see, I draw my gaze from it and face the council.
‘You have been away for a long time.’ Says First.
‘In solitude.’ Says Second.
Then there is silence, they are waiting for me to answer.
‘Yes. I returned because the next exhale is near and I am ready, I want to evolve.’ I say even to me my words seem flat. I should be able to be eloquent, I always am eloquent, what is wrong with me?
‘I see that.’ First says.
‘I have done everything asked of me, I have studied, I have learned…’
‘And you deem yourself ready?’ Says Third.
‘Yes.’ I swallow, he looks through me, it’s not invasive, it feels like the soft energy of the morning, I can smell mist and woodlands, I can taste the morning of my tongue.
‘And if you fail?’ Asks First, he crosses his finger slowly on the table.
I want to say I won’t fail, but I know very well it is a possibility.
‘Your brother once destroyed a whole system.’ Says Second.
Solar moves a little behind me. He inhales. ‘That was meant to happen.’
‘You were early.’ Says First and his gaze locks Solar in place.
My brother lowers his gaze. ‘Yes, but you have faith in me, enough faith to give me another system.’ I feel the energy jump between then, its forgiveness and power that keeps molding into expectations.
I receive the gaze next. ‘Tell me…’ First says. ‘Why is it your time?’
I exhale, look all of them in turn, and at last at Luna, she smiles that smile that knows already the outcome, it gives me strength. ‘I have studied the movement of my soul, I’ve learned to share my soul with others, with vacant grain, with empty plants, I have given them part of my light, I have spread it to fields and vast emptiness of space, I have given of myself to the tiniest building block of an atom… I can only evolve to a planet, to humans, like someone did with me, with my essence. I want to serve the creation, I want to give life and my soul to others. It is what I am meant to do.’ I look at First. ‘It is what I am meant to be.’
Time stand silent against my skin, it prickles on the edges and it dawns on me, my brother and sister have lately, ever since their councils, been different, some of their divinity has merged with emotions and rashness, Luna has taken up practices she long ago let go, my brother has taken, well--- lovers, many of them, a practise of his own he outgrew long time ago. And me I have been different, there have been emotions, physical changes, I have felt more solid, I have felt more… They will choose me, I know it.
First smiles at me, he sees my mind and he smiles. ‘Yes, Terra, we are giving you a planet.’
It is indescribable, my heart feels like it is going to burst, happiness spills through me and around me, and I recognise the feeling I had felt in Andromeda, in her planet as well.
‘But..’ Says Third. I freeze for a moment. ‘Solar will be in charge of your system, he so called jumps the gun and perhaps he need his family with him to keep him in check.’
To this Solar grins, he smacks his hand on my back and squeezes my shoulder. ‘Good news!’
‘And Luna will escort you Terra, she has had a planet already, she will be your satellite, your council on your first Life.’ Third nods to Luna who has not move since we entered, she looks at me and simply smiles.
The pain is subsiding, slowly, very slowly. I have water now.
I feel raw - everything is in pins and needles, but the water soothes, it is like ointment all over my ragged skin, I spread it everywhere and ravel in its feeling, it is easy to bring life to the cell now, I am calm and it comes like second nature. I feel elated as I watch these little things hum around in the first oceans, Luna watches me and my brother increases the light.
Creating a life that repeats itself is slightly harder, this is where others talk to me and ask to be able to use my planet for their Life Cycle. I feel so proud that they want me, my planet, what I can give them. These souls, they are so perfect, the first ones! I am still unsure to give them to my cells so I give them to my oceans and rocks and crystals, they inhabit them and I feel more alive than ever. They speak to me for a while, but then it becomes quiet, they have merged in the solid material I am now made of. The only ones who talk to me are my sister, who is still forming her shape from the loose rocks left in my orbit by the millions of meteor fragments and my brother who is so excited about the growth of his body and the planets pulled to him that his excitement is sometimes too much to bare, it is like he is nineteen again.
Creating life that inhabits my soul is hard work, but I get better all the time, each thing more magnificent than the other and I let the souls evolve into my life forms, it is a different the feeling, they merge with not just my body but my soul, our souls are both in these life forms. For a moment I stop creating and just am with these souls, this is why I am in this form, this ecstasy I feel through their joy and exuberance to movement, to feelings on their skin… there are so many of them so many emotions and feeling to be felt, it overloads me and for a moment I stop and just am.
I know I have to continue and slowly, very slowly I mold and help them become perfect forms of themselves, where their fins no longer are enough I create their bodies to adapt to earth, I give them more control of their heads with necks, to adapt to moving being more difficult on earth, yes I have decided to call my land Earth, homage to my grandmother. Then they will have legs and soon my lands are teaming with life, little ones and big ones, in waters as well. It still makes me sad when they attack and kill each other but I know this is how it is meant to be for now – I myself were as infant as they are now. They are surviving, very little is seen of those souls that first contacted me, but I see them hover between lives on the sky of mine, they look back on their lives, like I once did, and they always choose to return here, it is almost a challenge to them, I can feel the ‘I can do better’ emanate from them. Sometimes they see me while they hover sometimes they ignore me – it is the veil. They forget. That is fine, I have time to wait for remembrance.
I am very proud of my animals, even if they are sometimes very violent, what I enjoy a lot as well are the immigrants, they ask me to form their vessels according to the Grand Plan, and I do, the council sees to it, these life forms are different even before they are inhabited, these forms like the dolphins have another planet’s soul inside them as well, with mine and them and their inhabitant’s soul they are energetically amazing and I feel a deep connection to these animals, they will slumber and wait till it’s time for them. My planetary sisters are a part of me as well, Sirius in my Dolphins, Orion in my Wolfs and Dogs, Arcturus in my Lions. I myself give piece of me to Pleiadians, it is a modification of my Elephant and few souls choose to take part of being the essence of Earth on Pleiadians and they travel to their system. I find I actually miss them, they have been with me for so long that I still feel a pull to them when they are not home.
The focus now is on the great apes, this is where miracles come to play, they are the hardest to evolve, these will be my humans. I try few times but can tell I moved too much to one direction or other until finally I have it! Homo sapiens. By this time my Earth looks amazing, the lush green forests, brilliant clean blue oceans, the majestic rugged mountain ranges in the evening sun, that is what my brother calls his celestial body, the Sun. Still a ‘Solar’ System though. My sister fascinates my humans, they worship her, which I understand well, she has never been without admirers, she gives them gifts and enjoys the attention and sometimes she secretly smiles at me and winks, she knows this is a phase and takes this adoration in stride. My brother truly enjoys his attentions, he indulges on the ceremonies until the sacrifices begin, at which point he pulls away and looks at me to keep my humans in check.
I do my best, but the more they grow and evolve the more hostile streaks they get, this is the storm before the next quiet. They become smarter, some wiser, their souls begin to feel me again, they talk to me now, instead of worship. This attracts more souls to come and begin their journeys here, they insist on beginning at the mountains and oceans like my original souls did. I am honored and allow them.
My brother reminds me how close we are to our end, it disturbs me.
‘Half way.’ He sounds elated.
‘I’m not ready.’ I say and feel him laugh, I can never hold my frown when he smiles, the sun body fuels his power over me and I laugh as well. ‘I suppose I have time.’
He is quiet for a moment. ‘In all seriousness, Terra, I have had trouble holding my form lately, it’s testing.’
‘If you kill my planet I won’t speak to you for a hundred exhales!’ I snap, and he laughs again.
‘Do you doubt me sister?’
‘Hmmm, look what you made me do.’ I say and calm myself and my oceans, my moods are more tied to my waters now, the bond has deepened over the millions of years and I have to stay calm more than I use to.
‘Your human’s stress seems to have rubbed off on you.’ Solar feels smug.
‘They are very strong. Even in their hate, which will fade.’ I say and look at our sister who observes us but says nothing.
‘You wish it will fade.’ Solar remarks, I feel an urge to show my tongue at him which gets him laughing again. ‘Your humans are making you more fun than you have been in years!’
‘Stop harassing your sister and deal with your bursts, Solar.’ Luna finally says and I feel her silver liquid calm pour over me.
‘They will calm down.’ I say protecting my Life.
She sees me and smiles. ‘I believe they have potential.’ She shines fully on the sky straight opposite of our brother. ‘But you know what has to happen for them to live, you know why your brother is having trouble holding his shape, it can begin if one wrong move is made.’
I feel fear for the first time since my birth as earth. ‘They can’t kill them all.’
‘They will unless something happens, unless you help them.’ Luna speaks slowly. ‘You have to evolve some of them already.’
‘It’s difficult, Luna, they are so perfect.’ I try.
‘Evolve them.’ She is quiet for a moment. ‘I would start by getting rid of that Hitler you have roaming around.’
‘I cannot intervene, you know that.’ I say the words without enthusiasm. ‘I cannot destroy what I have created.’
Luna is silent, she feels the energy of the planet, I can feel her as she does it, and I try and slap her hand of. ‘You want to intervene.’
Of course I do, but this is all meant to be.
‘’Meant to be, yes, but who says that you are not a part of what is mean to be.’ With this she draws herself away from me and closes.
I look at her celestial body hover so close to me and feel nothing from her.
I look at my humans, they are so perfect, it is harder and harder to evolve them, but like before there isn’t a way around it, next ones have to come.
I find it at last, after years of trying to fine tune them, the little gene, the little cluster of cells and mass of atoms that will change them, you cannot see it but I can, I had tried this few times before with results that were not for those times but now I have no other choice, it is evolve or die.
And they evolved.
My first ones who were born again to these bodies discovered them different, they recalled their pasts if they wanted to, they felt me and saw me when they focus on me, they see the angels now, they hear their messages and above all they finally, finally, feel unconditional love.
These are my true perfect children, growing up, discovering their origin, discovering their divinity, seeing the world of Light and letting go of world of Fear.
I could not be more proud of them, more proud of me, more proud of US, we have taken the First Step to Divinity together, to all encompassing, unconditionally loving infinity…