Thursday, December 31, 2009



Day 6 (Dec 31): How do I balance the Male and Female energies within myself in order to bring Heaven to Earth?

White Wind Qualities: Spirit, breath, wind, presence, truth, communication, inspiration, non-tangible, idealistic, simplicity, integration of polarities, unseen forces, co-creator of reality.

White Wind is the galactic wind, the catalyzing current, the Spirit that moves through all things. It is the divine breath that gives life to all creation, the unseen essence of solar energy. White Wind is the breath of inspiration, the fertilizing force of the wind. Its essence is the movement of Spirit as it penetrates into form to enliven, purify and inspire.

Allow your life to be more like the wind, free-flowing and open to Spirit.

White Wind represents spontaneity and simplicity. As you experience the truth of the present moment, White Wind leaves you free to move on to the next moment without the baggage of desire, regret or expectation. White Wind is the simple knowledge that invisible forces are always moving in your life, guiding and inspiring.

White Wind also embodies the concept of presence. Presence is an expression of beingness, a creator of intimacy. It has to do with being wise in your simplicity. From simple beingness, your true identity emerges. Presence is being open, aware, and in the now. Presence is 'being there' for whatever is.

Think back to a time when someone looked deeply into your eyes, acknowledging your beingness with their full presence. Remember how wonderful and intimate that felt. When you want to be intimate with someone, become equally open, aware, and present. When you bring your awareness into the present moment, everything else falls away. When you are fully present, your mind is not preparing responses to what it is hearing while you're listening and feeling. Drop your evaluating and reactive nature. Trust that your heart will have the appropriate response when the time comes. Allow your mind to be quietly responsive, like a pool of water, natural in its unconditional acceptance of the moment.

Presence is simple. It is like being caught in the moment by the beauty of nature. Presence is your natural state of being. When you are present, your heart feels open, charged, full. When you are present, whether alone or with another, you are loose and relaxed. Time may seem to slow down. You can expand your awareness with ease, allowing yourself to truly see and be seen. You let your feelings speak through your eyes, and the 'feeling channel' in you breathes freely, without expectation or judgement.


Day 5's Dream

These one's stuck very well in my head - very clear dreams.


I was running in the woods, it was a competition, Pete was running behind me, we got out of the woods and got to Mall, we went down these escalators that were turned to slides, and then had to go back up them.
I messed with an evil girls hair asking if she was getting pink stripes, then had to talk to my friends so they wouldn't be mad at me because the evil girls would pay back. There was pie, lots of it.
My sister Ida had a birthday and there was a bulldog that had a device that measured how far he run, calories burned and steps taken.
There was a gym that had two owner that were really shady, then they turned the gym to a make-up store, there was a girl putting on bronzer when she was kicked out.


Forest = Your subconcious (I ran, I was happy, there was a path way)
Climbing = Desire to advance in your job, or to get better employment. if it's a high climb, it will be tought, if you keep climbing you are head strong and are stupporn, if you make it to the top you will survive the challenges in your life.

Friends = Depict the different sides of your personality ("I want to be friends with you." I'm not sure it's worth it.")
Sister = The otherside of your personality (not able to feel cared enough for - as all her gifts weren't actually to her)

To cheat/be shady = You have to be honest to yourself. (This has something to do with the gym and beauty - and to be honest to myself about them)


So, perhaps underneath my worries I am actually happy - as my worries are illusions to begin with. This a big challenge that I can over come. Even tho I believe my body and beauty isn't upto bar - I need to see the truth that I am beautiful and I aren't fat - and I am lovable. My body is perfect for me - nothing of it needs to be changed. that's my challenge to except me - love me, as I am, a spiritual, happy being.

Well this sure was a dream I NEEDED! :) First I wasn't sure where this was going but I got it at the end.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Day 5 (Dec 30): What is my core purpose?

Red Dragon Qualities: Source of life, breakthrough, divine nurturance & support, receptivity, primordial Mother, undivided primal waters, primal trust and nourishment, birth.

Red Dragon: Primal trust means making choices with no guarantees, knowing that divine nurturance will provide what is needed for your journey. It means making choices moment by moment, implicitly trusting your innate steering mechanism of heart-knowing. Primal trust implies surrendering to the will of the divine self, letting go of what your ego deems to be control of the outcomes in your life. It means deeply trusting the processes that are at work within your present spiral of evolution.

The energy of Red Dragon asks you to embrace the depth of your receptivity. Perhaps you have been taught that it is better to give than to receive. Giving is a powerful way to learn how to receive, but it is not the whole picture. There is a circuit of completion in giving and receiving that happens within you and in your external world at the same time. If you trust unconditionally in the giving, you are not attached to how the gift is received. When you freely give, you fill your cup with sweet waters, which you can then offer innocently and purely to another. Know, on one level, that your gift is poured out universally regardless of how it appears to be received. However, when the gift comes from ego, it is limited by expectations and conditions. Love just is. It is neither given nor taken; rather it is simply discovered and allowed.

It is also a great gift to allow others to give fully to you, for in your receptivity the circuit of love is completed. Love is all that is, and by completing the circuit of giving and receiving on the physical plane, you form an infinite loop that continually expands into new octaves of expression on other planes.

Trust in the larger pattern to provide what you need. Open to receive. Communicate your feelings, desires and dreams.


Day 4's Dream

I arrived through an airport to an office building, to work there. My room was open and light and it had a fridge. I had my sisters there to watch movies with me, but then the younger one had to leave because we were watching one with living dead in a desert scene. This office job turned to my old kindergarden job and I had to bring a little order to chaotic room.


Office = Reflects your day-to-day life (open, light and homey)
Sister = In a woman's dream sister means her shadow side, the opposite sides of her personality (one left one stayed)
Work = Continuous dreams of work mean there is unfinnished business there - also mans working through work related problems (well I've already been convignsed about what I need to do)



I'm using my mom's dream dictonary (as I stayd over night here so this makes no sense really - I have to check my own book when I get home.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


"What you seek, you already are."

"You are not in the world; the world is in you."

"Only by facing death can you develop real passion for being alive. ... Imagine yourself into a new form with a new location in space and time."


From "The Book of Secrets" by Deepak Chopra. Copyright c 2004 by Deepak Chopra. Excerpted by permission of Harmony Books, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved.


Seeking is a word often applied to the spiritual path, and many people are proud to call themselves seekers. Often, they are the same people who once chased too hard after money, sex, alcohol, or work. With the same addictive intensity they now hope to find God, the soul, the higher self. The problem is that seeking begins with a false assumption. I don't mean the assumption that materialism is corrupt and spirituality is pure. Yes, materialism can become all-consuming, but that's not the really important point. Seeking is doomed because it is a chase that takes you outside yourself.

Whether the object is God or money makes no real difference. Productive seeking requires that you throw out all assumptions that there is a prize to be won. This means acting without hope of rising to some ideal self, hope being a wish that you'll get somewhere better than the place you started from. You are starting from yourself, and it's the self that contains all the answers. So you have to give up on the idea that you must go from A to B. There is no linear path when the goal isn't somewhere else. You must also discard fixed judgments about high and low, good and evil, holy and profane. The one reality includes everything in its tangle of experiences, and what we are trying to find is the experiencer who is present no matter what experience you are having.

Looking at the people who race around trying to be models of goodness, someone coined the apt phrase "spiritual materialism," the transfer of values that work in the material world over to the spiritual world.

Spiritual Materialism

Pitfalls of the Seeker:

Knowing where you're going.
Struggling to get there.
Using someone else's map.
Working to improve yourself.
Setting a timetable.
Waiting for a miracle.

There's no better way to be a genuine seeker than to avoid these pitfalls.

  • Don't know where you're going. Spiritual growth is spontaneous. The big events come along unexpectedly, and so do the small ones. A single word can open your heart; a single glance can tell you who you really are. Awakening doesn't happen according to the plan. It's much more like putting together a jigsaw puzzle without knowing the finished picture in advance. The Buddhists have a saying, "If you meet the Buddha on the path, kill him," which means if you're following a spiritual script written in advance, bury it. All you can imagine in advance are images, and images are never the same as the goal.
  • Don't struggle to get there. If there were a spiritual payoff at the end of the trail, like a pot of gold or the key to heaven, everyone would work as hard as possible for the reward. Any struggle would be worth it. But does it help a two-year-old to struggle to become three? No, because the process of child development unfolds from within. You don't get a paycheck; you turn into a new person. The same is true for spiritual unfolding. It happens just as naturally as childhood development, but on the plane of awareness rather than in the realm of physiology.
  • Don't follow someone else's map. There was a time when I was certain that deep meditation using one specific mantra for the rest of my life was the key to reaching enlightenment. I was following a map laid down thousands of years ago by venerable sages who belonged to India's greatest spiritual tradition. But caution is always required: If you follow someone else's map, you could be training yourself in a fixed way of thinking. Fixed ways, even those devoted to spirit, are not the same as being free. You should glean teachings from all directions, keeping true to those that bring progress yet remaining open to changes in yourself.
  • Don't make this a self-improvement project. Self-improvement is real. People get stuck in bad places that they can learn to get out of. Depression, loneliness, and insecurity are tangible experiences that can be improved. But if you seek to reach God or enlightenment because you want to stop being depressed or anxious, if you want greater self-esteem or less loneliness, your search may never end. This area of understanding isn't cut-and-dried. Some people feel tremendously self-improved as their awareness expands; but it takes a strong sense of self to confront the many obstacles and challenges that lie on the path. If you feel weak or fragile, you may feel weaker and more fragile when you confront the shadow energies within. Expanded awareness comes at a price-you have to give up your limitations-and for anyone who feels victimized, that limitation is often so stubborn that spiritual progress becomes very slow. To the extent that you feel any deep conflict inside yourself, a large hurdle stands before you on the path. The wise thing is to seek help at the level where the problem exist.

  • Don't set yourself a timetable. I've met countless people who gave up on spirituality because they didn't reach their goals fast enough. "I gave it ten years. What can I do? Life is only so long. I'm moving on." More likely they devoted just one year or a month to being on the path, and then the weekend warriors fell away, discouraged by lack of results. The best way to avoid disappointment is not to set a deadline in the first place, although many people find this difficult to do without losing motivation. But motivation was never going to get them there in the first place. Discipline is involved, no doubt, in remembering to meditate regularly, to keep up Yoga class, to read inspiring texts, and to keep your vision before you. Getting into the spiritual habit requires a sense of dedication. But unless the vision is unfolding every day, you will inevitably get distracted. Rather than a timetable, give yourself support for spiritual growth. This can be in the form of a personal teacher, a discussion group, a partner who shares the path with you, regular retreats, and keeping a daily journal. You will be much less likely to fall prey to disappointment.

  • Don't wait for a miracle. It really doesn't matter how you define miracle-whether it is the sudden appearance of perfect love, a cure for a life-threatening disease, anointment from a great spiritual leader, or permanent and everlasting bliss. A miracle is letting God do all the work; it separates the supernatural world from this world, with the expectation that one day the supernatural world will notice you. Since there is only one reality, your task is to break through boundaries of division and separation. Watching and waiting for a miracle keeps the boundaries up. You are ever at a remove from God, connected to him by wishful thinking.

If you can avoid these pitfalls of spiritual materialism, you will be much less tempted to chase after an impossible goal. The chase began because people came to believe that God, disapproving of what he sees in us, expects us to adopt a certain ideal. It seems impossible to imagine a God, however loving, who doesn't get disappointed, angry, vengeful, or disgusted with us when we fall short. The most spiritual figures in history were not totally good, however, but totally human. They accepted and forgave; they lacked judgment. I think the highest forgiveness is to accept that creation is thoroughly tangled, with every possible quality given some outlet for expression. People need to accept once and for all that there is only one life and each of us is free to shape it through the choices we make. Seeking can't get anyone out of the tangle because everything is tangled up. The only thing that will ever be pure and pristine is your own awareness, once you sort it out.

It's much easier to keep up the fight between good and evil, holy and profane, us and them. But as awareness grows, these opposites begin to calm down in their clashes, and something else emerges-a world you feel at home in. The ego did you a terrible disservice by throwing you into a world of opposites. Opposites always conflict-that's the only way they know-and who can feel at home in the middle of a fight? Awareness offers an alternative beyond the fray.


I absolutely love quantum physics, here's some Deepak Chopra on the matter:

Tästä pääsemmekin hyvin erääseen Chopran lempiaiheista, nimittäin tietoisuuden salaperäiseen maailmaan. Hänen mukaansa me voimme muuttaa kollektiivista tietoisuutta ainoastaan muuttamalla omaamme. Eli tietoisuutemme luo todellisuutemme.
- Jotkut ihmiset haluavat muuttaa maailmaa. Meidän on kuitenkin lähdettävä liikkeelle itsestämme, sillä me olemme maailma - ja maailma on meissä, ei ulkopuolellamme. Mielestäni paras tapa ymmärtää kollektiivista tietoisuutta on epäjatkuvuuden käsite, koska vaikka maailmankaikkeus näyttää havaintotodellisuudesta käsin olevan jatkuva, se on kuitenkin on-off -ilmiö.
Tämä on-off, päällä-pois päältä -ilmiö, löytyy Chopran mukaan jokaiselta tasolta, aliatomaariselta, kvanttimekaaniselta, jopa mikroskooppiselta tasolta.
- Niinpä kysymys kuuluukin: mitä on off-tilassa? Me tiedämme on-tilan, se on energiaa, informaatiota. Entä sitten off-tila? Luullakseni lähes jokainen tätä tutkinut on nykyään sitä mieltä, että ensinnäkin se on kenttä, mutta ei informatiivisesta energiasta koostunut. Se on mahdollisuuksien kenttä.
- Toisekseen tässä kentässä on jotain, jota voimme kutsua ei-paikalliseksi korrelaatioksi. Jotain missä kaikki välittömästi korreloi kaiken muun kanssa. Ei-paikalliset korrelaatiot ovat luonnon aktiivisuuden kaikkein vaikuttavimmat ja hallitsevimmat aspektit.
Chopran mukaan tähän vihjasi ensimmäisenä itse Einstein. Hän kutsui sitä Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen -yhtälöksi, mutta tunsi kuitenkin olonsa sen kanssa epämukavaksi, koska se rikkoi suhteellisuusteorian lainalaisuuksia ja oli aika-avaruuden ja kausaliteetin tuolla puolen.
- Suhteellisuusteorian mukaan mikään ei tapahdu valoa nopeammin. Mutta jos on olemassa välitön korrelaatio, on olemassa myös samanaikaisuus. Tässä on kiistan ydin: suhteellisuusteorian mukaan valonnopeus on kattonopeus, kun taas absoluutissa kaikki korreloi välittömästi kaiken muun kanssa, joten puhumme tässä kahdesta eri ulottuvuudesta. Absoluutti, puhdas tietoisuus, on transsendentti, suhteellisen tuolla puolen. Se on välitön. Tämä on kentän toinen ominaisuus.
- Kentän kolmas ominaisuus on, että se laajenee nopeasti epävarmuuden tilassa. Ja mitä enemmän on epävarmuutta, sitä enemmän on myös luovuutta. Neljäs ominaisuus on juuri luovuus ja viides on se, mitä kutsumme tarkkailijavaikutukseksi. Eli kenttä pysyy kenttänä, ennen kuin on olemassa tietoinen tarkkailija. Kenttä ei silloin manifestoidu.
Chopra lisää, että tarvitaan tietoinen tarkkailija muuntamaan kenttä avaruudeksi, ajaksi, energiaksi, informaatioksi ja aineeksi. Universumi ei ole muuta kuin kvanttisoppaa, ennen kuin tarkkailija tekee siitä havaintoja. Nämä ovat hyvin mielenkiintoisia näkemyksiä hengen luonteesta, koska henki on juuri epäjatkuvuus.
Jokainen ajatusimpulssimme vaikuttaa tähän kenttään. Mutta kenttä on vuorovaikutuksessa itsensä kanssa luodakseen sen, mitä ajattelet. Maailmankaikkeus ajattelee kauttamme, ja me olemme koko universumin hologrammeja tai fraktaaleja. Chopran mielestä on illuusio ajatella, että on olemassa jokin pysyvä persoona. Sellaista ei ole.
Jo 1940-luvulla tiedemiehet saivat selville, että tarkkailijan odotukset voivat vaikuttaa yksittäiseen partikkeliin. Suuri yleisö on tästä täysin tietämätön, mutta on yhtä kaikki totta, että ajatukset vaikuttavat aliatomaarisiin partikkeleihin. Niinpä ajattelumme muokkauttaa kenttää tai - niin kuin jotkut sitä kutsuvat - kaikkiallista eetteriä.

Brilliant, isn't it!?


Websites I visit - take a look.


I've been thinking. About work and spirituality - and how they just don't mesh in my life.

Working is very earthy, it's gritty on both sides emotional and physical. I don't really want gritty. I want joy and light and happiness. The thing is I have to work. I should use words as strong as Have To, but it is what it is at the time. So if I do work, then shouldn't I find a job where I can be happy and at peace. Somehow I really grave jobs that are calm, like librarian or book salesman... Perhaps it's not calm but it would be a lot calmer than have aproximately 30 humans be trusting you to make sure things stay alive.

There's great responsibility in being a kindergarden nanny - if you aren't in the business you'll huff at me at this point, if you have been one you know what i'm talking about - I feel I don't want responcibility of others but responcibility of me.

Does that sounds selfish?

Well, it is a little selfish, I am not a person who sets herself first - one of my lesson is to be in union with myself - and I really should but myself and my spirituality first, otherwise I end up a shell of myself.

So in conclusion... I'm looking for a job - a calm, peaceful job.



Day 4 (Dec 29): What form will my spiritual journey take?

Yellow Sun Qualities: Illumination, fire, cosmic/christ consciousness, bliss, union, wholeness, unconditional love, crown chakra, ascension, solar mastery, language of light, ecstasy, limitless bliss, enlightenment, universal fire.

Discover the simple secret encoded in Yellow Sun's star-glyph: you are unconditional love, the stone of indestructible liberation. Radiate that knowing in all your thoughts and actions. Love all of creation. Join the dance of light, the fundamental constant of nature, and shine forth the clarity of your true essence. There is great power in simply identifying with the light: "As above, so below." You are in God, and God is in you.

As you express unconditional love, you become more than you previously perceived yourself to be. You become illumined, the full manifestation of your divinity. In the embrace of your humanity, accept yourself and others unconditionally. Magnify your full presence. Yellow Sun will come in myriad forms to assist you. Be limitless. Accept and understand the nature of judgement, fear, light and dark within yourself and others. Love and accept yourself and others as you are, freed from previous boundaries. You are the dawning of the solar age.

As you move toward your core of light, you will find a clear-light awareness that is innately innocent. In this place, the mind is restored to it's original state of receptivity. Clarity and freedom become expressions of being, and bliss becomes the body. At this core of light, a new reality is born. From the union of the divine masculine and feminine is birthed the solar androgyny of cosmic consciousness.

Open your heart as a flower to the Sun, and become the same love that holds universes together!



This was a mixed salad one, there was five parts but I only recall the last four.


I was going to a sauna and ran into a guy who was studying and asked me to help him with photoshopping, we talked a while about Layers and Gradient maps. His girlfriend was jealous.
I was going to take my hubby to spend the morning with me at work the next day but at the last moment told my co-worker that I was coming to work at 12.
I was somewhere outside in the green nature that had tables and thing on them, I tried on pink blush, but it was super sparkly - I left ended up in a store with one of my kindergarden kids with another close by with the mom, she gave her kid to me like I was already at work. There we're food in the cart, spilling out.
Alien ship that you walked on top of, agains a sunny sky with clouds. I wasn't attacked but they didn't want me there cause they would get in trouble.


Sauna = Start of something new in your life.
To Teach = to show inner wisdom and experiences in life.

Work = If seen in a dream as unpleasent means unhappiness at work. (twice)
Green = The color of growth, lifeforce and nature, that reflects hope. (green field with tables on it)
Light color/pink = tells of positive things, purity and ideals. (the pink blush)
Food = The context of your life, symbolises the spiritual and physical health.

Spaceship = Spiritually open space, indicates you want to broaden your living surrounding and learn new thing in the spiritual field ( so what does it mean when I wasn't exactly welcome?)
Airplane(spaceship) = If the plane is high it symbolises grand scale aspirations - Being on the plane means speedy progress towards the goal.


I should see a new beginning of some sort, possibly sharing my wisdom and experiences. My current work isn't what i want to do very seriously - I have always wanted a palce in a spiritual community and work there. There seems to be hope for my ideal job. I really do want a positive working enviorment, I wan't to upkeep the purity of my soul in everyday life. Right now I seem to be in perfect spiritual health (as the food was over flowing the cart), which means I get to see things clearly now. Now the spaceship - Grand scale aspiration in broading my spiritual life - I am working for the goal as we speak. I was so sure I wouldn't be able to understand this herring-salad* of a dream - but it all makes perfect sense now!

*finnish proverb - basically herring salad has so many ingredients that it's a complite mess.

Monday, December 28, 2009


January 2010 Wallpaper
Originally uploaded by Niina ♥ C.
I decided to challenge myself a little and keep up with months in 2010. January is done and next month it'll be february. I'll try take really good pictures so they won't go boring. :)


Day 3 (Dec 28): How does my creativity express my spiritual journey?

Blue Storm Qualities: Catalyst, transformer, liberator, activation for ascension, purification, light body, transformation, reunion, thunderbeing, lightning path, initiation by fire, ecstasy of freedom, self-generation.

Blue Storm comes to help you in the disintegration process that moves you from separation to ascension. This initiation by fire breaks any false containers of self that cannot withstand the flame of transmutation. Only your true identity will live through these fires, for you will be reborn in the hear of All That Is.

Blue Storm provides the water that purifies and quenches your spiritual thirst. In this state of consciousness, you stand willing to surrender everything. You give up what you seem to be in order to become fully what you are. You step into the fires of the unknown, and you are changed forever.

Blue Storm catalyzes and prepares your nervous system and circuitry for complete transformation. It is the electromagnetic storm of transmutation, the clearing and quickening of your physical, mental, emotional, and etheric bodies. As you become aligned with the descending energies, and evolve in consciousness, you body's vibration is raised, becoming less 'dense'. Your new alignment ignites the quickening process that transmutes the shadows of the past, including experiences, judgements, thoughtforms, and old patterns that have held you back.

A simple catalyst for this catapulting force is the integration of duality within. The personal integration of shadow is what will create the miracle! Personal shadow is simply that which is separated from the full light of consciousness. By integrating shadow, you are freed from delusions of right or wrong, good and evil. Shadow provides an opportunity for you to bring in all of your expanded essence.

(Shadow / Ego ???)

The harmonic wisdom embodied in Cauac is freedom, which can be defined as the state of being unconstrained by fate, karma, necessity, or circumstances in one's choices or actions. Freedom is an open reality wherein you know that you are at choice every moment. This state of being originates from an innate perception of reality. It is the understanding that you are an 'actor', free to play any part at any moment without being attached to it. You work with your life's 'scripts', your attachments and perceptions, in order to free them. From this perspective comes the fullest freedom: learning to live in natural harmony and union with divine will.
(this explains why actors and actresses are so well loved - we seek this side of our spiritual selves through material manifestation)


I suggest that you keep a journal during these 13 days. Start your day by writing down any dreams you have and interpreting them the best you can. Use association and lookup keywords...

Day 2's Night - Dream

I was living with my aunt, M-L, in an old finnish style wooden house, when her neightbour came and took two little bowls and left. We got them back and she was furious - as were we as she didn't ask she just took them. We locked ourselves in this house with her son in there too (son wasn't my rl cousin). Finally after 3 weeks of that crazy lady going about outside the house, my aunt went out, and I did too to walk Orion with my husband - there was a man on our road with a chainsaw about to cut trees, and he was about to egnite the saw when Orion was between his legs. I yelled - and the guy yelled - at my husband to pull him out of there. Walked some more and then he asked me what the borders of Laajasalo are, because he's staying at a hotel there. I promised to draw it intoa map for him.
I felt very agited the first part of the dream - it was very confusing, so I'm taking my "Big Book of Dreams" out and TRY make sense of it.

Bowls / vessels /dishes = Celebration... Portray the state of the soul (mine were whole, there was 4 in total and I was very protective of them), as how they are old new, broken, whole... (the lady tried to take the two new ones but not the two old ones I had in my arms - perhaps this is about my last two life cycles???)
House = Portrays the state of your life, kitchen means warmth and safety... (old wooden house, old but in good shape - I spend the whole time in the kitchen)
Lock = Lockling things means you don't want to show your true self to anyone. You don't want them to know your subcontious world. (true, I only speak of my spirituality to the people who express interest first - I won't push it to your face but I won't show it either unless you express interest - even though I always live with it)
Border = You have unnessiceraly prohibited your freedom wither moving, saying or rights.


In short I protect myself too much, when it comes to my spirituality, I have for the past two lives I've had, I've prohibited so much because of the fear people will consider me crazy, stupid or nuts because of my own personal Truth.
And it has been unnessicery - which is true, there are no witch trials anymore... I should be fine and not lock myself up in to my own soft, warm and fuzzy little world.
I need the strenght to stand proud with myself - it's the only way to unite the two sides of myself I've been trying to work to unite for years.

Sunday, December 27, 2009


From: Red Earth Wavespell

Your personal wavespell happens only once every 260 days. I have found it to be an amazing intention-settting time as well as an indicator of the main theme(s) for the next 260 days until your next wavespell.

I suggest that you keep a journal during these 13 days. Start your day by writing down any dreams you have and interpreting them the best you can. Use association and lookup keywords here.

If you haven't done any dream interpretation before remember that the most important aspect of your dream is your Feelings. Example, a recent dream of mine: my legs and arms were bloated with water. I could stop there, but how did I feel? Uncomfortable and worried (but not fearful). Those feelings are the Key to the rest of my dream. Your dreams contain message for you!

Then, read through the Day's question and synthesize it with the energy of the Daykeeper for that day. Write down the question and glean the answer from the Daykeeper's energy...allow the Ah-ha!'s to bubble up.

Then...go about your day.

If you have time, at the end of the day write down what happened during the day. What interesting events? Conversations? Did something new happen? Even the smallest detail may hold significance...what animals crossed your path (were they alive or dead?) aware of the symbols around you (the material world has been cloaked in symbols camoflauging the real meaning/essence)...and, if they seem significant, include them in your day's events and feelings. See if the days events help you to answer the day's question.....keep allowing those Ah-ha!'s to happen!

*** Happy Magical Wavespell! ***


Candy Gal
Originally uploaded by Niina ♥ C.
New photo from yours truly.


"I need honest feedback - how do you think I'm limiting myself? - spiritually speaking."
"Well, you could be more ambitios."

"You mean, I should go after what I want, when I know what I want?"
" Yes."

Day 2 (Dec 27): What are my relationships teaching me? What are my Obstacles?

White Mirror Qualities: Reflecting others back to themselves, endlessness, shattering truth, clarifier, spiritual warriorship, discrimination, timelessness, clarity, hall of mirrors, sword of truth, facing shadow, integration of paradox.

Have you unconsciously created a reality in which you seem lost or confused? In this shadow, you may feel enmeshed in the illusions of the hall of mirrors. Remember that the only real power the hall of mirrors has is your belief that its grand illusions are real! On Earth, we presently live on a holographic playing field made of the elements of time and space. This field draws to itself the density and mass necessary to form a three-dimensional reality. All phenomena within it are images that appear for our learning and growth. Since each of us is a hologram of light within the larger hologram, getting lost in fear, judgement, and denial can certainly appear to be "real", but it is really only an illusion. The essential mind is silent, still, empty - hence, incapable of getting lost.

The transformation offered in this shadow is found by being mindful. Meditate and pray for the reestablishment of your direct connection to Spirit. Become quiet and still. Imagine yourself floating timelessly in the center of the star-glyph White Mirror, receiving divine wisdom. Cut away with clear discrimination. Forgive and release yourself and others. Enter into the timeless truth of the spiritual warrior.

Another shadow transformation of White Mirror may be found in seeing yourself clearly in the mirrors of the world and other people. Using others as mirrors allows you to experience hidden truths about yourself. Ask for honest feedback from friends you trust. Risk hearing the truth about yourself. Openly observe the events in your life to see how they can be used to better understand who you actually are.

One of the most self-limiting illusions is the belief that one's own view of reality is the only one. This often causes the mirror of the world to reflect back to you your "unseen" shadow, and when you see this shadow, it can produce a judgement or reaction. Such emotionally charged situations usually have two poles or positions. When you believe that only you are right, both poles remain charged and fixed. For a moment, experiment with letting go or changing your position. As you loosen your hold and step aside, the "other position" or person is freed to change as well.

Understand that judgement and acceptance are two sides of the same mirror - the transparent mirror of ascension.
It's Day 2 of Red Earth Wavespell.

More information here:


Tracy Gendron from *~Light Center~* on Facebook send the best NEW YEAR post I've gotten this year, so here follows - I've bolded some of the high lights for me, though it all rings true.
I have been thinking a lot about 2010's new-to-us vibration and am thinking it would be a wonderful thing to follow the Red Earth Wavespell that started today (Red Magnetic Earth - Day 1 - Dec 26, 2009 - How do I call forth the resonance of my true vibration within the context of the new energy available in 2010?) and carries on through to the New Year's Day energy (Blue Resonant Night) to the final 13th day: Red Cosmic Moon on Jan 7, 2010.

To me, this 13 day Wavespell, is the bridge that carries us into the New Beginnings that the 2010 vibration embodies - so I'll be riding it and paying attention and I hope that many of you will join me! I just read through some of the key days (first, 7th for New Year's Day and the last day) and, wow, it sounds reeeeally exciting you guys!

Numerologically, 2010 is significant because we start a new cycle with the '10' energy. In 2009 we did a lot of clearing, wouldn't you say? I know I did! Being the last number in the cycle (9) - energy was available to wrap up the old, clear out shadow stuff, limiting beliefs, restrictive situations and basically do some house-cleaning on a emotional-mental level. Of course, any house-cleaning on the physical bodily level helps to clear out the old to make room for the new, too! I found myself quite sick for much of 2009 with strange mystery illnesses but my mental/emotional self mirrored this physical state, too. I found myself quite angry and impatient and having trouble in particular felt like all this old gunk that had accumulated emotionally was being activated so it could come to the surface, I could take a look and deal with it (instead of thinking: oooh I'm never angry!) and then, voila, clear it out forever, yay! I ended my year with an amazing Master Cleanse that put me back in perfect health - and I'm planning on starting another one with my mom on January 1st just because it's the only time we can do it together. If any of y'all are interested in that we can discuss it over on the MC discussion thread.

(Blogger's Note: I ended my year with Flu, it was almost like a last cleanse before New Year. My flu ended on the 26th - I take that as a sign)

SO - NEW is where we're headed. In fact, to me, it feels like I am completely new myself....all those beliefs I had about myself have been sloughed off and I'm feeling free and unencumbered - ready to co-create this next new phase from a clear, fresh-eyed place. Anyone else feeling this way?


... as we approach 2010 and have been open, once again, to creating something absolutely new in my life. I encourage you all to plug in to whatever source or tool that helps to guide you (dreams, meditation, writing, synchronicities) to let the energies know that you are up for creating something stunningly new and amazing in your life and that you'll pay attention to all the signs and signals you receive.

Remember 10 energy is: Intuition, Fortune, Luck, A turn for the better, New Beginnings. We have the 0 (divine power) working through the 1 (mars) to bring about a burst of new energy that brings about new starts and a change in fortune. The Wheel of Fortune (card #10) is ruled by Jupiter

Because 2010 reduces to a 3 it's good to keep in mind that 3 energy is available to you too: Growth, Travel, Self-Expression. The Empress (card #3) is ruled by Jupiter and Venus.

Lots of Jupiter energy available in 2010 which is fantastic for growth, expansion, optimism, luck and benevolence. Ahhhh I just checked to see what Jupiter is actually doing in 2010 and I see that on New Year's Day Jupiter is conjunct Neptune (significant spot! - dreaming big, benevolent, idealistic feelings of universal love...) and then at the end of January Jupiter moves into Pisces (it's just spent the last year in Aquarius) which means that at some point in 2010 Jupiter will conjoin Uranus (expect the unexpected) in Pisces....that brings Benevolent Changes, big surprises...great to catapult you into a brand new 10 cycle!

So, with Jupiter in Pisces - people with planets in the water and earth signs will be feeling verrrrry positive and open to having the Universe shower you with blessings!

(Blogger's Note: I'm a Taurus so as an earth sign I'll be right up there with the positive)

If you want to follow along with the wavespell that will bridge us into 2010 go here: We can think of the 13 day Wavespell as a concentration of the energies and ideas and feelings and manifestations for 2010 and the whole new cycle that starts in 2010.

To briefly sum up - it's like in order to reap all the benefits we need to first Ground, center and be present Now through Red Earth energy.....then on New Year's Day the vibration is: Blue Resonant Night which gives us an idea of what 2010 is about for Dreamspell......Being Conscious Dreamers to 'dream a different reality into being'! Wow - that is exciting! New Beginnings individually and collectively, of course, with our conscious-dreaming!

Theme for 2010: "In becoming a conscious dreamer, you can assist in literally creating a new reality for yourself, as well as constributing to the larger dream that is emerging. By focusing on this creation, your thoughts and intentions are projected at superluminal speeds across the crystal grid network that encompasses universes. This energetic field seeds, supports, and empowers the creation of an unfolding reality."

And, the final day 13th where you surrender to the perfection of the larger pattern of 2010 is with Red Moon, the cosmic seed of awakened awareness. MMM mmm! Surrendering to remembering ALL that you are. We are all Masters.
I wish you all a magical, exciting, new 2010 filled with wonderful surprises you've never dreamed of (but feel familiar) that catapult you into our beautiful World that is already Heaven on Earth. It already exists. Let's expand it together...

In Lak'esh,
White Crystal Mirror

Explains why I came back to my blog here yesterday - of all days! - and why I am so very drawn to my tarot deck this morning, it's time to break out the Crowley back and take a good look at myself.

Saturday, December 26, 2009


It's really been too long since my last post, so here I am.
I haven't seriously been here since last x-mas, even though there are few posts this year.

Why the break? Well, I guess I've been happy. Really. :) I seem to so call nest when I'm happy. But let's look back...
I wrote a 50 000 word novel in November - which I haven't edited yet.
I went back to my healthy eating plan and exersice - until back and flu interrupted.
Summer was great I visited Porvoo and Kuhmo - this also led to the many uploads to my FLICKR.
I recently got back my photo-bug and now I'm photoshopping away after snapping pictures.

Here's "Smiling Tea" From

Something very sad happened too, my grandmother passed away - it was during surgery so the death wasn't painful, which I'm very happy about - what I'm not happy about it that my father informed me a day later instead of the same day, I could have tried to make the passege as easy as possible for her.
The funeral was filled with tears, ofcourse I'm sad to lose a HUGE part of my childhood memories and their occupant but then again, we all die. Tao states: The third treasure is humility, to know that you have come from nothing and that you return to nothing. It's soothing, and eases the pain - why should I not be happy and proud of the soul journey she did, I'm sure she's happier now, wiser and at ease.

With this said, I gave you the main points of my year - the rest of it was work at the kindergarden and daily life with down and lows AND tons and tons of books - Kaari Utrio - J.D.Robb - Lincoln Child - Charlaine Harris and some Twilight.

Much love to you all!

Friday, March 20, 2009


Diana Cooper - Freemansons

I asked Diana a question earlier about Freemasonry as there are so many negative things people write about it, and as I trust Diana with esoteric and spiritual knowledge I wanted to know what she knew of Freemasonry and if the spirits of those who are involved with the organisation are safe.

Click above links to see her answer. :)

Friday, February 20, 2009



I noticed sitting on the sofa that my wedding rings were no longer on my ring finger. I stood up looked all over the sofa, alerted husband to search through the whole apartment, twice. I got fairly anxious, and very nervous, and to admit it I did snap at husband for suggesting I'd just placed them somewhere and forgot about them.

Then I remembered... ask the angels for help. So I stood there in the clothing closet, eyes closed and in my mind stated: "Angels, Help me find my rings, my wedding rings." I specified. ;)
I opened my eyes looked into the undies drawer found one, looked through the whole drawer and find the other one.

With one quick request I found my rings in ten seconds.

I'm on Book 3 of Diana Cooper's Spiritual Trilogy.
The Silent Stones and The Codes of Power were such a good Spiritual Read, even though I knew this already the reminder was great. :) And I think we all know this already on the soul level, it's just a matter of how much you trust your intuition and how well you can connect this to your life.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


11/365 Energy
Originally uploaded by NiinaC.
From Diana Cooper's newest Newsletter:

"Here is a reminder of a way you can help the prosperity consciousness of the world, which is very needed. As coins are metal they retain the negativity of those who have touched them and continue to spread that energy. You can serve by cleansing the coins you receive and filling them with prosperity consciousness. Then they will circulate feelings of abundance to those who touch them.

Cleansing coins
Waft them over a flame, ask for the fire to cleanse them and visualise the negativity pouring out of them and being transmuted. Alternatively you can invoke the gold and silver violet flame and visualise it round the coins, transmuting the old.

Filling them with abundance consciousness
Picture the coins being filled with golden light and ask that everyone who touches them is blessed with happiness, love, success and prosperity.

Remember that all you give out to others comes back to you multiplied."


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