Not knowing if someone is going to die is very different from the day to day life where you know how fragile life is and how easy it is to die just crossing the street.
Which is probably why I dreamt of death all night. I dreamt the Queen had died in London, her funeral cart pulled across the streets followed by thousands turned into Michael Jackson's casket, pulled by three horses which rains I held, when we reached the park my husband and I walked the through it to the crowd of people, of which one tried to stab me and kill me four times.
I know what death is, and I know what it is not.
It's continuation, not the end.
But I also know what it is to people who are still here, alive. It's a point in our life when we consider death and all the uncertainties that come with it, there is many what ifs and hows.
I personally thought what it would be like to loose a father, even if we aren't as close as say my mother, I thought what would it be like if I lost a sibling, a sister or a brother.
Knowing that after death is divine and blissful before rotation to Earth again, and that they are on the other side of a veil that we all cross to forget "heaven", and life - or I should say existence - there is much better than here. But there is still us humans down here rooted to the Earth and it's experiences, rooted to feel, rooted to learn.
I lost my grandmother last year, and as sad and emotional as it was, it was also something that brought me closer to my father, and when I think of her these days when I wear the heart necklace she gave me I feel her spirit, her joy and as happy as that is it is still sad I cannot touch her, as much as I can feel her around and feel her happiness I can't touch her which is such a human thing to do - to touch - I feel disconnected from her. As connected as I am to her even now.
To me death has never been about the loss of people, I can have connection to people that have been close but my body feels the loss, if that makes any sense. Unable to hug, hold hands, feel the physical presence of them is a loss I do feel in the body level - even when I know better. But perhaps such ultimately physical experience is something of a constant on this Earth.
Death, much harder for us who are left behind, no matter how wise we are on the passing on of souls, one way or another there is always loss.
Love, Light and Joy