Sunday, December 5, 2010

ADULT "TIME-OUTS" AND THEIR BENEFITS

"Just like adults can't ignore their emotions without building "luggage" to carry-on with them, children can't just ignore their feelings. The common method of "time-outs" is where you are removed from the situation to calm yourself down, which works wonders on kids - how come adults have forgotten that trick?"
~ From Niina's Dream Interpretation below the Dream

The dream interpreting triggered a great  idea, first this was all about the dream and my role at work, but ended up being a truly spiritual experience on how to live a happier life, exercise on being human and the other side of forgiveness.
You can skip the dream and go straight to the Dream Interpretation, that's where the idea struck me.

And if you are interested how this idea was brought to daily exsistence proceed to The Dream.

~ ☆ ☮ ☆ ~

The Dream: I was with the kids at work and we were interviewing people for an available job there. Later alone there were people surrounding the place, ominous but doing nothing.
In the next dream, there was a stage on a mountain where we were putting on a variety show with a car crash set. We couldn't get the car to go down.

Work = Indicates that your dream applies to work as well. ( We actually are missing a co-worker but she has already been replaced )
Children = Carl Jung claimed that the dream symbol of a child is a motif for the forgotten things in our childhood. For example, your dream may be telling you that you've forgotten how to play or should take a more innocent, carefree attitude. The symbol of the child also represents possibilities. It paves the way for future changes in the personality. In addition, the child may represent the part of you that needs reassurance and security. ( Security and reassurance for what? )
Anxiety = Experiencing much anxiety in your dream state may be related to your current difficulties and everyday life. Gaps may exist between the way things are and the way you would like them to be. Older interpretation books suggest that when you dream about anxiety, the contrary is true and that your worries will be lessened. However, always keep the compensatory nature of dreams in mind. If you are not feeling anxiety during the day, it could be that you are ignoring it and that it will appear in your dream. Therefore, look at the details of your dream and attempt to identify the anxiety-provoking situations in your daily life. ( I sure am not feeling anxiety in daily life, so it's important to figure out why that is - I have had anxious dream few in a row which is why I wanted to do this dream interpretation to begin with )
Theater = Theaters may be a metaphor for our physical lives. To paraphrase Shakespeare, life is a stage and we are merely trying to make the best of it. Maybe in your dreams you are acting out some of your personal issues and concerns. Think about the details of your dream and what is going on in the theater. Is it a comedy or a tragedy? Are you having fun, or are you very uncomfortable or bored? All of these will give you clues in regard to the meaning of based theater dreams. ( It was a comedy, Variety, but I wasn't comfortable with it, I recall everyone thought I was a guy playing a girl role that sometimes turned to a guy in the comedy, and we couldn’t get the car to work )
Car = A car is most likely to represent yourself and your ability to control your life. Are you a good driver in your dream? If so, you may also be steering the right course in life. However, if you drive badly or have an accident then your unconscious may be warning you that you are making mistakes. You may be driving yourself too hard and heading for an emotional crash. Maybe someone else is driving the car? You may feel that this person, or the qualities they represent, is controlling your life. The dream may be expressing your over-dependence and lack of control. ( I was just trying to get the freaking thing going! ;) LOL! )
Mountain = Climbing a real mountain is not always fun but it usually challenging and rewarding. Some say that the mountain may represent spirituality while others suggest mental development and self-awareness. The most literal interpretation of climbing a mountain is that it represents attainment of goals. If you are ascending a mountain you may be are working hard and trying to accomplish your goals, whether they are spiritual, emotional, or material. ( Yes, there was mountain climbing going on - working hard to accomplish tying together my spiritual and material life )

~ ☆ ☮ ☆ ~

Niina's Dream Interpretation: This dream indicates that in my working life I am looking for security and reassurance, I want to be doing the absolute right thing spiritually and materially. This is something I have felt anxiety for, I have been thinking about how I can bring forth my Highest Purpose at work where I battle with the super clear emotions of children, the good are amazing and infectious, the bad are muddy and infectious. I am, now that I think about it, sort of unsure with my role, and wish to change it a little, I want to change my role when it comes to negative emotions of children in general. 

Perhaps it is my lesson to learn to decide how to help children with their emotions, I have tried different ways, but I think there is Gem I haven't quite figured out yet. Just like adults can't ignore their emotions without building "luggage" to carry-on with them, children can't just ignore their feelings. The common method of "time-outs" is where you are removed from the situation to calm yourself down, which works wonders on kids - how come adults have forgotten that trick? Perhaps there is a way to perfect the “time-out”, generally we discuss with the child what went wrong and what the consequences of their rash actions could be at the end of the minute-per-year time out ( for example a 3 year old can handle 3 minute time out, it adaptable to attention span ).

Why can't we do this as adults!?

I'm 28, so let's say I did something bad, hurt another adult's/teenager's feelings, I remove myself from the situation, spend 28 minutes in contemplation or meditations, or ideally both. At the end of 28 minute I return to the one I did wrong to and tell them how I am aware of what the consequences of my rash words were to him/her and to me and tell them I am sorry. 
And then take a hint from the kids, we forgive in an instant and that incident is let go and we play together again like it never happened, we don't reminisce it and think about it, like kids we let go and live in the present moment where there is only the playing, the game, the fun and the joy!

If this method that works for us as kids… why do we let go of it as adults and start packaging our emotions, upset and troubles to convenient size portions that can be picked up and showed to the person we argue with "as see look at this, you remember this hurt, huh? Yeah you better feel sorry about that one as well!" what useful purpose does old troubles serve you at this moment, how do they make you feel better? They don't. They might make you feel more "Right" at that moment but with the consequences of perhaps loss of love or loss of respect in the near future.

Very interesting - see how good it is to interpret dreams, they give you all sort of insight. :)

So next time an occasion rises, no matter who or what age your opponent, give yourself a "time out" minute-per-year, contemplate and mediate on it, on the consequences of your actions on both sides of the party, then tell your opponent what you discovered and apologise, trust me this guarantees forgiveness ( I see it everyday after all ;) ) as well, after all when you are aware of all aspects of the situation you give out amazing honesty and heart felt apology, the other person feels it and it awakens their heart to listen to and to forgive.

We can only lead by example - as we can only affect our own actions.

Let's bring out “time outs” for us all - you know how to do it, I'm sure you did it as a kid as well. ;) But let's make this a spiritual exercise in stead of punishment.

If you try this - I'd be glad to hear how it went and what you consider the benefits of it, so please comment or e-mail me. :)

Love, Light and Joy!
Niina

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the look into your consciousness. Whenever I dream about a car, I try to pay attention to the make, model, year and if the car was one I rode in at any particular time of my life.

    Love and Peace,

    Paul

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