I went to the biggest general store around, a shop that has sections for electronics, clother, household items and foods. So I decided on some delusional state to go se if I can find a dress for the upcoming Ladies Night Ball at my husband's lodge - little do I know whats coming out of that! I skim through few reasonably priced dresses - I refuse these days to buy anything that's going to cost me more than 35€/43$ no matter how pretty, how bad the economy or how other's think I should dress.
I do find a really cute black frilly dress for 35€, kismet right? Well it just happens it's slightly too big on the bosom area, but otherwise Perfect, and I can see myself paying for it. So I get dressed again fetch size smaller which is L aka Large aka Size 10/11 u.s now this one fits top half of me perfect but, and there always a but, the bottom half of it is too short, it showcases the least favourite part of me, my thighs.
Now as soon as I hear myself stating that I snap out of it and shake myself saying "I am not my body", I do like all the rest of the dress, it's so pretty with crinckly layers of frilly fabric, cute little sleaves, it's nice, I look nice in it BUT then I look down enough again and it all begins again. Now I could recall this whole 10 minutes of mind cat and mouse but I'll skip to the end of it.
I remove the dress, sigh, and feel defeated. I would have bought it if I hadn't been on a lookout for a Ball dress particularly, and this I would not wear to a Ball, too short ( as a party dress it would have been fine, did I ever party to begin with ). Even though I kept most of my ego shield at place some seeped through the cracks and I can literally feel my mood vaiver, I become more stressed and easily agitated.
I go shopping for food feeling ugly and well un-beautiful, if thats a word. I do regogonice the plan though and refuse myself any comfort foods for the sadness and stress.
Suddenly sometimes mentions my flowers, asking if they are real, talks to me about maybe getting flowers himself as summers approaching, I reply something accordingly.
Then he asks if I'm single.
I do a double take, and smile telling him No, I'm married, he smiles back and say that's too bad he would have like to have taken me out for coffee had I been single, then he wishes me good day and leaves.
Now it didn't hit me until I'm outside the store how wonderful this Universe is! The Universe regoconised I needed to be confirmed that I am beautiful, and just swell just as I am. :)
And Universe - Thank You! I love you too. ❤
Love, Light and Joy!
( more dialog @ http://lightworkers.org/blog/131545/my-adventure-dressing-room-stress-and-being-shown-universe-loves-me )