I've been thinking. About work and spirituality - and how they just don't mesh in my life.
Working is very earthy, it's gritty on both sides emotional and physical. I don't really want gritty. I want joy and light and happiness. The thing is I have to work. I should use words as strong as Have To, but it is what it is at the time. So if I do work, then shouldn't I find a job where I can be happy and at peace. Somehow I really grave jobs that are calm, like librarian or book salesman... Perhaps it's not calm but it would be a lot calmer than have aproximately 30 humans be trusting you to make sure things stay alive.
There's great responsibility in being a kindergarden nanny - if you aren't in the business you'll huff at me at this point, if you have been one you know what i'm talking about - I feel I don't want responcibility of others but responcibility of me.
Does that sounds selfish?
Well, it is a little selfish, I am not a person who sets herself first - one of my lesson is to be in union with myself - and I really should but myself and my spirituality first, otherwise I end up a shell of myself.
So in conclusion... I'm looking for a job - a calm, peaceful job.