Summer literally decended on Finland with a WhaM! Suddenly it was sunny, super warm and everything green emerged from the buds. I took up exercising again and time seemed to fly.
All this light brings out so much joy in people - there is laughing now and happy silence when you just lift your face to appresiate the sun and it's light and warmth.
My birthday went by, I received my personal copy of A Course In Miracles which I am deliriously happy about - and so many warm, happy thoughts from people who wished me happy birthday. :)
I also got a HUGE bouquet of white lilys that now dominate my kitchen with an aura of peace and angelic joy.
This loosing weight business had me confused about it's spiritual origen for a while until I got what it meant for me. See spiritually speaking I am at a Great place right now in such a peace that I am finally okay with absolutely everything - but for years there has been this tug-a-war with my body.
I believe now that this is it, the final adjustment to my diet* (*way of living through nutrition with excercise) then last dropping of the pounds so that my Body can be as Healthy as my Spirit. :) Before my urge to loose the last stubborn 20lbs I was at a place where my diet changed dramatically, I cut of all meat, except for fish for now, and suddenly dropped of all alcohol (some of you know how much I enjoy wine with a good meal) which seemed to just irk at my spirituality.
These changes came before, along with a sudden desire to eat only to fuel my body, and make the food with total love and peace and dedication. This was bit shocking for a former emotional eater, who used food to fuel all kinds of thing besides the physical body. Since I started reading A Course In Miracles I finally had my values straighten - I was reminded that it is all Love, it comes from it and it is the greatest mean to forgiveness of one's self first and then others.
(My Photograph will open up in Wallpaper size if you click it)
I did a TON of Forgiving! I forgave myself for thoughts of inadqusy, thoughts of anger or hurt, thoughst of self hate. I forgave everyperson who had every offended me from first grade, through upper classes where I was bullied A Lot for being smidge too different, and I forgave appsenses and hurtful glaces. Now my days come with forgiving on daily basis, I notice myself in hurt state and forgive myself for feeling this illusion of emotion and I forgive the person who I projected having hurted me. (Oh I could go on and on about Projecting - that evil thing! ;) ) Somewhere here amist forgiveness stint I forgave myself for taking my body to unbalance and started to recover.
I was very confused these few weeks because I was focused on loosing weight and Living Healthy AND Spirituality, instead of just one. This confused me because I have always been a person who gives a 100% focus one thing at a time, Spirituality, then dumb that to diet then dumb that for photography and so on and so on... Until Now! NOW it's Diet and Spirituality and I can still give 100% for both, which means I have finally found My Spirituality, I have found my Path, my Journey - not too bad for my 28th year of existing.