MY EGO AND ME IN A SPIRITUAL PATH

I am starting to feel something that could develop into frustration if I let it - it's due to the fact that I am still searching new ways to evolve spiritually, but what I find in the world now is something I've already dealt with, released and moved on.

Just this morning few moments ago I received a free small course on releasing mind to reach my goals and dreams. Which is fine, except I am past earthy goals and dreams such as being successful or rich or living in the Bahamas.

I am fully content with the state of my life, I do not need or want anything external or internal to change. Not any of my emotions, they all precious and tools for great self-knowledge which is part of our existence on this planet.

I am aware of the illusion of material life, I am aware of how much I need of material things to keep the body alive - all else, I do not need. I have no desire to be successful. Would someone please give even a semi-reasonable spiritual reason why we should have more than we need or more than another sister or brother of ours?

I do not feel comfortable with "goals" anymore - if I need something I take the necessary steps to acquire it, and if it is meant to be it is what I shall receive because it truly was needed. I have come to figure out that things I do not need I will not receive - I think this has been a theme to learn in this life time, along with what comes with that Lesson which is: Total freedom of Attachments of all things material. But it leaks into emotional life as well and I cannot say there are too many things I am attached to. 

Not being Attached I'd like to share doesn't mean you cannot feel sad when you two depart from each other.

As I write this I'm reminded of a recent article I read, "Ego Valaistumista Etsimässä" ( Ego Searching for Enlightenment ) in which the writer explores how the Ego wants to set out to find Enlightenment because it is one of those things it can be superior in than other people ( clever Ego, right ), so it sets out to get the perfect religion which it dictates is the one right religion, of course it is quite afraid of dying so eventually it gives and start to try and find reincarnation. After Ego is researched on this spiritual road it gets a guru, it sits under the feet of him and demands the Highest teachings from him. The ego loves to get the most exotic guru, because he can boast with it and beat other searchers of truth. After this Ego searches for knowledge on spiritual journeys and evolution, coming in contact with choices which separate him from others so that he can feel a bit more right than others again. When Ego comes across master of Light he wants to be one, and charges to the path but realizes soon that this would mean letting go of all kind of baggage. This Light is in front of it now and the Ego fears it, but as Light has entered the Ego cannot undo his actions and tries to focus on tidbits of knowledge instead of the Light of the Soul and divinity. But Ego soon sees there is not enough of organized information and hence it gets happy cause there are life times of information to go through and organize.

That is putting a very long article very shortly here, I recommend you get the newest Minä Olen, the article is there on pages 32-35. I wish it was in english as well as it is Amazing.

So why am I looking for more knowledge when all that I see is pretty much useless to me? Should I keep on looking for information, new ideas, and old ideas to evolve - or focus on the Light?

The Light is my life, it is in my Heart and Mind, in my Consciousness, it is in my sense of humor, and it is in the eyes of everyone I meet. So why am I hesitant to give my whole life to it - I have to work, it seems a contradiction. What if giving myself to the light fully means... But it won't, I know it won't. Silly Ego.

I can see it front of my eyes - that life, it's as easy as breathing, why would I not want to have that light in my life?

That said I am off to meditate!

Love, Light and Joy!

Niina

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME!

Happy Birthday, Me. I love you! You are wiser one year older, wittier and fun too! Love you!
29, I need to see what numerology tells me as soon as work day's over! :D

DREAM INTERPRETATION ON CLOSING THE CIRCLE ON GUILT

Fantasy by Josephine Wall

I haven't done dream interpretations in along while, and I remembered this dream so vividly as I woke I took it as a sign I needed the dream interpreted. It's bit weird with stalkers, frozen babies and cursed rune engraved wedding rings. I probably could make it into a movie. ;) So wait just a second as I go and brew myself some caffeine free Strawberry & Cherry Infusion Tea.

The Dream =  I returned to a cabin with a friend, carrying grocery bags. There was a girl outside the cabin asking for our help her a man was stalking her. We go inside and lock the doors, next an older man circles the house. I find a baby in the grocery bag we had thought we'd taken a chicken from the frozen sections which turns out melted and was a baby. I give the tiny baby warm bath in the sink. Eventually I come up with a plan and we all go outside, I manage to cut the wedding ring off the stalker, where the ring was is all dead and black. He calms down and I tell them the ring was cursed and that they were divorced. The baby grows up to a boy who runs after his dad as he leaves, gives him keys to the house and wants him to come back after he's done with work, the dad has gotten younger now, and promises to come back.

House/Cabin = They usually symbolize our emotional and psychological selves. All of your experiences, stages of development, and parts of your conscious and unconscious life may be represented by that house. The house may be representing issues concerning a particular dilemma in your life, or it may be more general and comprehensive. ( Do I even have dreams that don't involve houses anymore, they seem to be in every  dream. ;) But emotions and psychology is the deeper work that needs to be done in us all )
Hiding = In daily life we hide from things that we don't want to deal with or we hide from danger. The emotional tone of your dream will reveal its meaning. If you are hiding out of danger, then you should consider those things in your life that propose a threat to you. They could be internal forces or environmental conditions. Generally, we attempt to hide our own negativity and mistakes. This dream may call for an honest reflection on personal characteristics and an evaluation of how much fear influences our lives and decision-making. ( I was hiding from mistake, even though it wasn't straight forward what I was scared of as he was stalking the girl with me )
Older Man = Old people in dreams represent wisdom and maturity. They may appear in our dreams at times of confusion and lack of direction, or when we need consultation and help in decision-making. ( helping in making decisions sounds right to me )
Baby = If these newborns are strangers to you, you can assume that they represent you. You are the baby and the dream is telling you something about your development in a particular area of your life. At times of great change and renewal, a baby may appear in a dream and represent your potential and a new beginning. Some of the meaning of the dream may be obtained by considering what the baby looked like and was doing. Generally, babies represent innocence and are symbols of the purest form of a human whose possibilities are endless. However, if the babies appearance is odd, and if your interactions with it are bizarre or unusual, you need to consider your own well-being (psychologically) and think about what personal experiences and psychological hang-ups have prevented you from growing. ( I didn't actually see the baby in frozen from, I just held her as normal human baby, as I was bathing it it didn like having water in his face and cried a bit )
Outside/Nature = To dream of nature symbolizes independence, serenity, restoration, and rebirth. It stands for practiced and articulated internal instincts. You are very much in touch with your inner self. ( from the house which symbolises emotional self and where I see a threat to me, to outside to nature to independense from emotional self where there is serenity )
Ring = Are you dreaming about ornamental jewelry or merely noise? If you are dreaming the former, the ring may be symbolic of your commitments and promises. The ring can been seen from a larger point of view as a circle, which is a symbol of completion and wholeness. ( symbol for completion and wholeness )
Curse = To dream that you or someone else is under a curse points to a buildup of guilty feelings from an offense or wrongdoing you have committed. ( symbol for completion and wholeness as in ending my feelings of quilt of a wrongdoing I've done )
Boy = To dream that you see or are a boy, when you are female, implies that you are in touch with the male traits of your personality. ( as the baby is me and the baby grows to be a boy this follows the lead well )
Key = To dream of keys may represent a multitude of facets in the dreamer's life, including hidden secrets, recognizing responsibility, the ability to gain access to a situation and hence control, and opportunity. When a key is given to somebody else, control, responsibility, or secrets may be getting passed on to somebody else. ( giving control, responsibility, or secrets )
Man = A man, particularly the father figure, may represent collective consciousness and the traditional human spirit. He is the Yang and his energy, when mobilized, creates the earthly realities. Depending on the details of the dream, the masculine figure could be interpreted as the Creator or Destroyer. At times, women dream about men that are strangers to them. These men may represent the women's unconscious psychic energy. Carl Jung called the stranger in a woman's dream the "animus." He represents autonomous, unconscious energy and he plays a vital role in obtaining a deeper understanding of self. ( well that's just spot on, definately earthly energy, creator helping to understand self  )

Ocean Dreams by Josephine Wall

The Interpretation

It begins with emotional and psychological self, then reveals that I have been living with the quilt of a mistake I've made. This dream calls for honest reflection on personal characteristics and an evaluation of how much fear influences my life and decision-making. There is an older man who is what I am hiding from aka the mistake that is there to help me to make decisions. How great is that! A mistake teaching me to make decisions! A baby in this dream represents me and about doing development in some area of my life, which would be this quilt of the mistake.
At this point I'm realizing this part of the dream is my past, this is a tale from my mind of how I let go of this issue.
In the dream I leave the house to go to nature - leaving the emotional hiding place from my mistake/wrongdoing and go to a state of independence, serenity and rebirth, getting intouch with my innerself on this matter. That creates completions and wholeness, realeasing the built up guilt represented by a curse.
It seems this cleasing generates in me a better connection to my male traits in my personality (which is very true by the way!) giving the male traits more room in my emotional and psychological self. Just check out the male traits in the interpretation for Man.

I know exactly what this mistake/wrongdoing was, it's true I have felt guilt for it for a really long time, about a year, but now that I think of the situations the guilt is gone, which explains why I saw this dream to begin with!I truly welcome these male qualities to my existence, I need that holding my head high and proud energy, the protective energy, the active energy.

It is probably connected to male energies my letting go of my guilt.

Thank you, I needed to see this dream.

Love, Light and Joy!
Niina

Did you like the pictures in this entry visit their creator Josephine Wall for prints and paintings @  http://www.josephinewall.co.uk/art_gallery.html

MY ADVENTURE WITH A DRESSING ROOM STRESS AND BEING SHOWN THE UNIVERSE LOVES ME

Stores, oh how you cause emotional upset! Now to being this entry I have to state that I'm not a small girl, I'm not size small or medium but large. I got a butt and thighs that aren't easily missed about me if you are only looking at the body. Now I have often fought with myself on the issue of how I feel about my body. it's been only the past year that I've come to some gribs of how we can go exist lovingly. But there are still days - like today - when we do not see eye to eye.

I went to the biggest general store around, a shop that has sections for electronics, clother, household items and foods. So I decided on some delusional state to go se if I can find a dress for the upcoming Ladies Night Ball at my husband's lodge - little do I know whats coming out of that! I skim through few reasonably priced dresses - I refuse these days to buy anything that's going to cost me more than 35€/43$ no matter how pretty, how bad the economy or how other's think I should dress.

I do find a really cute black frilly dress for 35€, kismet right? Well it just happens it's slightly too big on the bosom area, but otherwise Perfect, and I can see myself paying for it. So I get dressed again fetch size smaller which is L aka Large aka Size 10/11 u.s now this one fits top half of me perfect but, and there always a but, the bottom half of it is too short, it showcases the least favourite part of me, my thighs.
Now as soon as I hear myself stating that I snap out of it and shake myself saying "I am not my body", I do like all the rest of the dress, it's so pretty with crinckly layers of frilly fabric, cute little sleaves, it's nice, I look nice in it BUT then I look down enough again and it all begins again. Now I could recall this whole 10 minutes of mind cat and mouse but I'll skip to the end of it.

I remove the dress, sigh, and feel defeated. I would have bought it if I hadn't been on a lookout for a Ball dress particularly, and this I would not wear to a Ball, too short ( as a party dress it would have been fine, did I ever party to begin with ). Even though I kept most of my ego shield at place some seeped through the cracks and I can literally feel my mood vaiver, I become more stressed and easily agitated.
I go shopping for food feeling ugly and well un-beautiful, if thats a word. I do regogonice the plan though and refuse myself any comfort foods for the sadness and stress.

I am on my way out but very uncharastically decide to go by the flower and magazine section, I pick up to Pink Lily flowers and look at what the headlines on the mags are, as I don't buy mags anymore.
Suddenly sometimes mentions my flowers, asking if they are real, talks to me about maybe getting flowers himself as summers approaching, I reply something accordingly.
Then he asks if I'm single.
I do a double take, and smile telling him No, I'm married, he smiles back and say that's too bad he would have like to have taken me out for coffee had I been single, then he wishes me good day and leaves.

Now it didn't hit me until I'm outside the store how wonderful this Universe is! The Universe regoconised I needed to be confirmed that I am beautiful, and just swell just as I am. :)

And Universe - Thank You! I love you too. ❤

Love, Light and Joy!

Niina

( more dialog @ http://lightworkers.org/blog/131545/my-adventure-dressing-room-stress-and-being-shown-universe-loves-me )

OBSERVATIONS ON MY BLOG

I like looking at my Blog. :D Yes I do. I really love it, it's like a little extension of myself, it's connected to my feelings, emotions, interests and The Moment I am in at all moments I post.
I like seeing how many people are following readers, how many visits my blog gets, where from and through what website. I like seeing what are the current six most read entries ( Trinity Triad Metatron Channelling is keeping the lead strongly 4 months and counting ) - it's interesting to know what are the strong titles and what are barely read! ;)

I know in few years I'll gringe at my writing as much as I now gringe at the first few blog entries. :) But I still love reading Year 1 as much as the new entries.

So thank you so much everyone who's participated! I love you all!

Namaste

Love, Light and Joy!

Niina

SPRING ME!

Few days back I was feeling this very deep sense of Peace and Happiness, an emotion, feeling so strong it was literally uplifting, everything that day seemed to go well, and things that didn't were resolved almost immediately with clear perspective of matters. One of those days that isn't perfect, but sure feels like it!
I love those!
I took a new profile picture for Facebook that day, and I though I'd share with You as well!

Love, Light and Joy!

Niina

SPRING BREAK IS OVER

It seems I have been gone for a good month & a half, not on purpose... March is when sun starts to shine a lot more in Finland ( has to do with tilt of the earth ) and I almost always have the same reaction to it which is I get tired ( very odd, it's suppose to be backwards ) and it takes me a while to yawn my way to latest to May to cheer up. ( seriously yawning even as we speak )

Now what has been going on while I was gone, I've been going to work every work day and watched spring come to life with the kids. I got tired to my hair being in Winter shape and cut myself a fringe/bangs. ;)

 
Went to see "Wicked" with my sister who turned 14, had my husband's 39th Birthday where I got him a PS3, discovered that part of my March Blues were probably due to the fact I stopped exercising during the winter so picked that up again just lately, and it has helped as I am here! in my blog again! Also returned to Sparkpeople.com a free and the sanest workout and diet site on the web ( if you are there, you can find me as SlimmerMe82 - 4,776 fitness minutes so far! ).

Last post I made was about my hair, and about coloring it. It's driving me mad! Mad! Right now it's the color that makes it look always dirty, my natural hair color is lighter than the package brand I've bought so what happens is the roots do look 'dirty' if I don't wash my hair daily - and even wind will cause problems - but I will ride this out, I'm strong - and also I Am Not My Body, that bit always helps when a nasty little though "people must think I'm a slob" crosses my mind. It's still hard for my ego to come to craps with the idea that people don't really think of me that Much, you know! ;D

Also there are bad news from the past month as well, my husband's brother's grand kids, two adorable little girls were killed in a car crash, their parents were very badly injured. There is no pain like children dying. Them living in america and seeing them only few times didn't make it easier.

But now I'm enjoying finding my happy, energetic Niina again - with the help of eating prober food again, exercising and visiting my blog. Bring on the Spring! I want green grass and warm weather. :)

Love, Light and Joy!

Niina

P.S: Check out the third to last Teleseminar episode March 20th, 2011: Michael Dowd – “Big Integrity: Deep-Time Eyes and a Global Heart” HERE for a truly wonderful view on Knowledge and Science being an Island in an Ocean that is Mystery - and there is no harm to making the Island bigger it will always be surrounded my Mystery. ( at 29:00 in the teleseminar )
Another gem in the Beyond Awakening Series - and it's still Free, always will be.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG! YOU'RE AN AQUARIUS!

I was going to work this morning, riding in the metro thinking, what the sign of my blog is as it is it's 4th Birthday?! And how cool would it be if it were Aquarius, helping bring forth Age of Aquarius - any way decided to check what my Blog's Sign is when I got home after a work day... well can you guess what it turned out to be? An Aquarius! Kismet right. ;) Well I sure think so! Here is what being Aquarius means for my Blog.

Traditional Aquarian Traits:
Friendly and humanitarian
Honest and loyal
Original and inventive
Independent and intellectual

Aquarians basically possess strong and attractive personalities. They fall into two principle types: one shy, sensitive, gentle and patient; the other exuberant, lively and exhibitionist, sometimes hiding the considerable depths of their character under a cloak of frivolity. Both types are strong willed and forceful in their different ways and have strong convictions, though as they seek truth above all things, they are usually honest enough to change their opinions, however firmly held, if evidence comes to light which persuades them that they have been mistaken. They have a breadth of vision that brings diverse factors into a whole, and can see both sides of an argument without shilly-shallying as to which side to take. Consequently they are unprejudiced and tolerant of other points of view. This is because they can see the validity of the argument, even if they do not accept it themselves. They obey the Quaker exhortation to "Be open to truth, from whatever source it comes," and are prepared to learn from everyone.

Both types are humane, frank, serious minded, genial, refined, sometimes ethereal, and idealistic, though this last quality is tempered with a sensible practicality. They are quick, active and persevering without being self-assertive, and express themselves with reason, moderation and sometimes, a dry humor.

They are nearly always intelligent, concise, clear and logical. Many are strongly imaginative and psychically intuitive, so that the Age of Aquarius, which is about to begin, is much anticipated by psychic circles as an age in which mankind will experience a great spiritual awakening. The Aquarian philosophical and spiritual bent may be dangerous in that it can drive the subjects into an ivory-tower existence where they meditate on abstractions that bear little relevance to life. On the other hand it can help the many who have scientific leanings to combine these with the Aquarian yearning for the universal recognition of the brotherhood of man, and to embark on scientific research to fulfill their philanthropic ideals of benefiting mankind. When some cause or work of this nature inspires them, they are capable of such devotion to it that they may drive themselves to the point of exhaustion and even risk injuring their health.

Both types need to retire from the world at times and to become temporary loners. They appreciate opportunities for meditation or, if they are religious, of retreats. Even in company they are fiercely independent, refusing to follow the crowd. They dislike interference by others, however helpfully intended, and will accept it only on their own terms. Normally they have good taste in drama, music and art, and are also gifted in the arts, especially drama.

In spite of the often intensely magnetic, forthcoming and open personality of the more extrovert kind of Aquarian, and of their desire to help humanity, neither type makes friends easily. They sometimes appear to condescend to others and take too little trouble to cultivate the acquaintance of people who do not particularly appeal to them.
They do not give themselves easily - perhaps their judgment of human nature is too good for that - and are sometimes accounted cold. But once they decide that someone is worthy of their friendship or love, they can exert an almost hypnotic and irresistible mental attraction on them and will themselves become tenacious friends or lovers, ready to sacrifice everything for their partners and be faithful to them for life. However, they are sometimes disappointed emotionally because their own high personal ideals cause them to demand more of others than is reasonable. And if they are deceived their anger is terrible. If disillusioned, they do not forgive.

Aquarians work best in group projects, provided that they are recognized as having a leading part in them. They have a feeling of unity with nature and a desire for knowledge and truth that makes them admirable scientists, especially astronomers and natural historians. They may excel in photography, radiography, electronics - anything connected with the electrical and radio industries - aviation and everything technical. On the arts and humanities side their progressive tendencies can be expressed in writing, especially poetry, and broadcasting, or as welfare workers and teachers. Some have gifts as entertainers and make good character actors (having an ability to mimic) and musicians. The more psychic among them possess healing gifts, especially in curing the mentally sick.

( and for LOLs :D )

Possible Health Concerns...
As Aquarius is said to govern the legs from knees to ankles and the circulation of blood, its natives are susceptible to ailments particularly in the legs and ankles, such as cramps, and are also liable to spasmodic and nervous complaints, as well as wind, catarrh, diarrhea, dropsy, goiter and delirium tremens - so that the avoidance of alcohol is important for those Aquarians who have a taste for it.

LIKES

Fighting for Causes

Dreaming and Planning for the Future

Thinking of the Past

Good Companions

Having Fun

DISLIKES 

Full of Air Promises

Excessive Loneliness

The Ordinary 

Imitation 

Idealistic

Happy Birthday 4 Year Old Aquarian Blog!

Love, Light and Joy!

Niina

More dialogue @ http://lightworkers.org/blog/125058/happy-birthday-blog-youre-aquarius

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG! ☆ YOU'RE FOUR! ☆

My phone peeped to life this morning, reminding me of something.

I've run this blog for 4 years now!

Four years of blogging about Spirituality in my Everyday Life, looking back, man all the typos! ;D LOL! Well I have gotten much better in expressing myself and my english has greatly improved during these four year living with my husband who's a great teacher by being an example of american dialect.

My first blog entry = Youth of the Planet which I transported from my early neglected blog at bravesomethingnet. I was 21 when I wrote it in 2004. 17th of February 2007.

This blog has seen it all! My change of jobs, my work related burn out, my inner struckle to win over moral condauct and rules related to living.

Be Happy which is where I stopped watching the news and the immercing myself in chaos and gossib on tv and internet.
Between Two - Deciding wither to stay at my old job or not.
Resigned - Trusting my angels and guides I simply quit and got a job immediately.

With 417 Entries, kind of equals 100 entries per year, but there was year two that wasn't very active, so it's probably been closer to 300 entries last year 2010.

This blog as witnessed the most important change in my whole life in April 2010.
The Now - Realizing life is only in the now. April 10th 2010.
Peace by Forgiveness - delving more into the peaceful life.

This blog has been an amazing way to seeing myself in a whole new light! Seeing where I come from Kings of Finland, and where my finnish spirituality is taking me, Kalevala Studies.

Happy Birthday BLOG! You're 4 years old!

Love, Light and Joy!

Niina

Dialogue @ http://lightworkers.org/blog/125034/happy-birthday-blog-youre-four

"I" AND HOW NO ONE ELSE CAN BE YOU

Stating that you are "doing/are somethings" is amazingly powerful!
I am writing.
What is happening as YOU are stating you are writing, well YOU are writing.
So what's with this word excersise?
Have you even noticed  that only "I" can use the word "I"?
There is no way around it You cannot talk about anyone else and use "I".
I can write about whatever I like. You can write what ever You like, You can even write about the "I".
See it doesn't work.
Only you can use your "I".
Why is this of any importence, other than driving you nuts trying to prove that someone else can try using your "I".

I AM.

If you move around in the spiritual circles you have come across the statement I AM.

It is the statement of I am not my body or this earth or anything inside it, the I AM is the witness of all this in you, around you.
Witness that when sleeping knows it is a dream, the witness is the part of you when you meditate deeply and know you still are, the witness is the part of you that when you return to a state of deep relaxation where you are not your body or your spirit, you still are. I still AM.

I AM

Means absolutely everything, it is all encompassing, enfolding, loose from the form - Everything.

Can you see why it is so important that only you can state "I AM"?
No one else can do it for you - only I can.