LEVELS OF CONSCIOUSNESS & THE NOW

An idea dawned on me as I watched this video, that I hadn't though of before in quite the same way.
Before this April when this stage of happiness begun ( I wish I had a better name for it ) I was spiritual and in a state of awakeness - but I had problems, all life troubles and stress and anxiety from time to time. It seemed it went in cycles of three months of happiness, three months of sadness, and so on and so on...
Now what changed in April 2010? What was the catalyst for the change?

I came across Eckhart Tolle's Findhorn Retreat DVD.

After reading my blog entry I recommend you watch these two:

Part 1 of Findhorn Retreat HERE.

Part 2 of Findhorn Retreat HERE.

It was like gentle knock in the head - the slapped in the back of your head kind of "Duh!".
And I got it.

I got it.

It was the power of Now. This here, right now. Now.
I realized suddenly without reading any of his books that everything wrong in my so called life was because I kept wondering into the Past ( oh no what have I done, they will hate me, they will think badly of me, I feel so embarrassed, I can't believe they still kill people, I cannot believe they destroyed that, I'm mortified by that betrayal - you know all those feelings ) and into the Future ( oh shit I have meeting tomorrow, oh shit I have to pay this bill I haven't got money for in two day, oh shoot I can't find my red sweater for tomorrow, I have to meet someone downtown, I don't want to watch the news, I don't want to go to work, I don't want to go to dentist tomorrow, I have to see him/her later, someone could be mad at me now, I could be mad at someone if they happen to do this or that - that sort of things ) for my chance at unhappiness.

I was seriously looking for trouble, everyday.

I was spiritual, I meditated, I was "green", I was vegetarian, I was conscious, I was reading channelings, I was sort of an activist BUT despite all my good intentions I was stuck in the Past and Future for my unhappiness fix.

Photo by Pat Goltz

Change came, the Now came - and like turning on the lights, the darkness was suddenly gone. I knew there had been darkness, and I could still see it far away from me at the edges of my bright light, but it wasn't with me anymore. I was not sad, I was not depressed, I was not worried. Everything made me smile because I got it - what is wrong in right Now? Nothing. Right now with everything going on around me, there is nothing wrong with me or in me. I am smiling, happy, calm, spiritual - even at the most uncomfortable moment ( if I would allow them to be ) I kept smiling, because I had got it, I am strong within me, I am strong in my own self, no one else can make dents in my armour, because I have let go of my armour, there is nothing to dent. It is just me, the essence of me showing constantly always lit with a bright light.

What this next video made me aware of was that the source of my unhappiness was the Post-Modern Level of Consciousness - as great as it is in our process of awaking it is still a place with Pain and Fear.
Now I have been aware of Integral for few months sense the Free Beyond Awakening Teleseminar begun and they had Ken Wilber as quest speaker, explaining these Levels of Consciousness - but before this next video no one had called the integral level, The Level of Now.
This is where it hit me. My leap in April 2010 had been a leap to The Level of Now from Post-Modern Consciousness.
It made perfect sense and I now finally have a name and place for my Transition. ( Not that that should matter, and it doesn't but it helps me to write this blog so yay for that! )

Love, Light and Joy!

Niina

BULLIES AND GRATITUDE FOR THEM

Another place where I transport and share my blog is Lightworkers.org - I do this because I love the community and I'm surrounded there by other Lightworkers with same principles on Love. And similar interest and ideas. Plus they have thousands of channellings and blog entries as well as Events and Forum, chat and Videos. it's my spiritual morning go to when I get my cup of coffee.

I tell you this because one of the residents there replied to a blog of mine and it sparked something - a regocnition of  Synchronicity. http://lightworkers.org/blog/116470/2012-movie-explains-indepth-3-hours#comment-264556


He said in the middle of his reply:
"We should all be very thankful for those souls who played those dark roles."

And it brought me back to very early this morning... I literally just had a moment of unexpected forgiveness. I had just woken up, still kinda droggy laying in bed and I remembered being bullied in school by this curly haired girl who poked my legs and hands with a sharp pencil before class, and I let her - not showing her at all how it effected me.

I was suprised how strong the memory was and I suddenly it dawned on me I hadn't forgiven her yet, of all the people who bullied me, I had "forgotten" her (this I found funny - because she was by far the worst).

So, I visioned myself face to face with her and her soul, told her I forgave her and truly did and then suddenly I felt this overwhelming Love and Gratitude for her, and I thanked her for what she did and how she helped me to become what I needed to be in this life time.

I felt immense love for her and felt her mirror it back to me. She is my sister and the love I have for her is so strong it brought tears to my eyes, and I told her to forgive herself - and I hope she will in this life time.

Forgiving is a Given - but feeling thankful to her I had not expected, not this strongly anyway.
But I can feel it at the center of my heart, how important it is to have that Unconditional Love for absolutely everyone especially to those who operated once from negativity.

So - if any of my old bullies come across this, I have forgiven you, and I have held you in love and truly feel connected to the heart of you where all is good and all is perfect. And I ask that you forgive yourself, I have forgiven myself for the negative thoughts I had on you - simple forgiveness of every cell, feeling, word and action is Freeing, in more ways than just one.

Love, Light and Joy!

Niina

( Dialog @ http://lightworkers.org/blog/116598/bullies-and-gratitude-them )