MY ADVENTURE WITH A DRESSING ROOM STRESS AND BEING SHOWN THE UNIVERSE LOVES ME

Stores, oh how you cause emotional upset! Now to being this entry I have to state that I'm not a small girl, I'm not size small or medium but large. I got a butt and thighs that aren't easily missed about me if you are only looking at the body. Now I have often fought with myself on the issue of how I feel about my body. it's been only the past year that I've come to some gribs of how we can go exist lovingly. But there are still days - like today - when we do not see eye to eye.

I went to the biggest general store around, a shop that has sections for electronics, clother, household items and foods. So I decided on some delusional state to go se if I can find a dress for the upcoming Ladies Night Ball at my husband's lodge - little do I know whats coming out of that! I skim through few reasonably priced dresses - I refuse these days to buy anything that's going to cost me more than 35€/43$ no matter how pretty, how bad the economy or how other's think I should dress.

I do find a really cute black frilly dress for 35€, kismet right? Well it just happens it's slightly too big on the bosom area, but otherwise Perfect, and I can see myself paying for it. So I get dressed again fetch size smaller which is L aka Large aka Size 10/11 u.s now this one fits top half of me perfect but, and there always a but, the bottom half of it is too short, it showcases the least favourite part of me, my thighs.
Now as soon as I hear myself stating that I snap out of it and shake myself saying "I am not my body", I do like all the rest of the dress, it's so pretty with crinckly layers of frilly fabric, cute little sleaves, it's nice, I look nice in it BUT then I look down enough again and it all begins again. Now I could recall this whole 10 minutes of mind cat and mouse but I'll skip to the end of it.

I remove the dress, sigh, and feel defeated. I would have bought it if I hadn't been on a lookout for a Ball dress particularly, and this I would not wear to a Ball, too short ( as a party dress it would have been fine, did I ever party to begin with ). Even though I kept most of my ego shield at place some seeped through the cracks and I can literally feel my mood vaiver, I become more stressed and easily agitated.
I go shopping for food feeling ugly and well un-beautiful, if thats a word. I do regogonice the plan though and refuse myself any comfort foods for the sadness and stress.

I am on my way out but very uncharastically decide to go by the flower and magazine section, I pick up to Pink Lily flowers and look at what the headlines on the mags are, as I don't buy mags anymore.
Suddenly sometimes mentions my flowers, asking if they are real, talks to me about maybe getting flowers himself as summers approaching, I reply something accordingly.
Then he asks if I'm single.
I do a double take, and smile telling him No, I'm married, he smiles back and say that's too bad he would have like to have taken me out for coffee had I been single, then he wishes me good day and leaves.

Now it didn't hit me until I'm outside the store how wonderful this Universe is! The Universe regoconised I needed to be confirmed that I am beautiful, and just swell just as I am. :)

And Universe - Thank You! I love you too. ❤

Love, Light and Joy!

Niina

( more dialog @ http://lightworkers.org/blog/131545/my-adventure-dressing-room-stress-and-being-shown-universe-loves-me )

MUSIC, CD, REVIEWS + SONG SAMPLES

I went by the library today and picked up three CDs - Journey to the Faeries, Deuter's Nada Himalaya and Aeoliah's Realms of Grace.

Llewellyn's Journey to the Faeries is a blissful mix of soothing music with winchimes and sparkle, like fairy dust springled down on the ground. Nature sounds like chrips and wind in the trees - gorgeous, takes you straight into the fairy realm. I highly recommend it.
Visit Amazon.co.uk to hear samples of the songs.
I hope you agree that there is beauty in faerie music.

Deuter's Nada Himalaya begins with a bowl that vibrates right down to your essence.
Amazing, vibrational, uplifting, shifting music that Deuter does so well. Absolutely perfect for meditation. Only natural sounds of tibetian bells and bowls, chimes and mountain streams are used.
It's like the instruments want to heal you from inside out by just listening to them. Amazing.
Visit Amazon.co.uk to hear samples of the songs.
I especially recommend Nada Himalaya 1 - try it and feel it.

Aeoliah's Realms of Grace is beautiful, calm, relaxing soothing music literally from the higher realms.
You relax, unable to keep your eyes open , the music takes you to a deep state of calm when the music sooths your muscles and your mind. beautiful.
Visit Amazon.co.uk to hear samples of the songs.

If you are tight on money the library is the way to go in giving your soul some peace of mind. ;)

Love, Light and Joy!

Niina

BEAUTY COMPETITION - LETS CALL IT A TIE

"I suppose letting go of such things as vanity, surface beauty, sexual appeal and youth market is somewhat scary."

"But we still let others ideas of us affect us. If someone looks down their nose at you, you feel a sting of "oh there is something wrong with me" followed by "that jerk". We give a lot of our power away due to physical differences in our bodies if we are not careful."

"This is notoriously harder on women, there is competition going on, who is more beautiful, who has most admirers, who has had most sex, who has had most boyfriends. Who has the best, most stylish clothes, most beautiful hair, who has the most expensive make-up, who applies it best... I want absolutely nothing to do with this side of 3D femininity."
~ From Niina's Dream Interpretation below the dream

The dream interpreting triggered a great  idea, first this was all about the dream but ended up being a truly spiritual experience.

You can skip the dream and go straight to the Dream Interpretation, that's where the idea struck me.

And if you are interested how this idea was brought to daily exsistence proceed to The Dream.

~ ☆ ☮ ☆ ~

The Dream: First dream had a ship, and there was a steering competition between us and them, in the end everyone hit bar and a couple kissed. In the second dream I recall blue and jeans, store, clothing, baby who almost got kidnapped. And in the last dream I was in a train, there was competition on weird hair do, I wasn't a participant, I got off the train and made my way up to the  bus stop where I went to get snack at a kiosk, I got really frustrated as my turn didn't come to pay as this guy was bad at his job, I threw my stuff off I took a bus to work.

Ship = As mentioned in all relevant dream symbols, bodies of water represent your unconscious, your emotions, and your accumulated soul experiences. The ship in your dream could represent you and the ways in which you navigate thought these parts of yourself. When interpreting this dream, consider the kind of voyage and the type of ship. Some dream interpretation books say that if the voyage is calm you should go forward with your plans. However, if it is a very stormy voyage, get ready for an emotional upset or challenge. ( "We" won the steering competition between us and them - the ship was beautiful, the seas calm )
Bar = When I was in college, I read in a theology book that a monk on a mountain top and a man with his bottle of wine are really trying to get to the same place. That "place" translates to peace and a genuine feeling of being connected to the rest of the universe. Dreaming about being in bars and drinking may symbolize a need that you have for some type of a meaningful transformation. On the other hand, this dream may be a form of wish fulfilment, and you are escaping into a pleasurable environment where daily cares and concerns are meaningless. If you rarely allow yourself to relax and socialize, this dream may be compensatory in nature. ( A need for a meaningful transformation - if I am in charge of my life now then perhaps that is a cause to a meaningful transformation of something old to new  )
Kiss = In this dream you may be expressing feelings that are difficult to express during the day. Kissing is usually an indication of warmth, affection, and happiness. If you don't receive enough love and affection in your daily life, then this could be a compensatory dream, where the dreamer is comforting himself. If you are kissing the object of your affection, the dream could be a form of wish fulfilment. ( It wasn't me kissing it was two other people, kiss indicates warmth, affection and happiness, perhaps this transformation will bring more of those )
Christmas = To dream of Christmas represents close relationships and joyful times with loved ones. It can also imply entering a new phase or stage of your life. Think about what feelings and emotions you hold regarding Christmas as well. ( Christmas is to me all about Peace and Joy, not people but generally everyone is more peaceful and happy it makes the energies around light I love that - entering new stage of life  )
Blue = Most people dream in colors, but at times some stand out more than others. Colors are symbolic and their symbolism is part of culture. We communicate with color and relate ideas with them. For example, a bride wears white and black is worn at funerals. Colors also represent energy. The meaning that you give to the colors in your dreams depends on the meaning that you give to those colors in daily life. Some generalizations have been made as to the meaning of colors in dreams. Blue: spirituality, optimism, positive thoughts, communication. Some believe that when you see it in your dreams, you may be in the presence of your spiritual guide.  ( It is funny that I remember nothing but Blue and Jeans of this part of the dream - perhaps my transformation is helped by my spiritual guides  )
Clothing = Clothing generally represent our worldly appearance or status. At times, it may represent our attitudes toward ourselves and others. Mostly, it represent the way that we appear to the world. Clothes are not symbolic of our private self, but rather of our public self. A poor man wears different clothes than a rich man. A doctor's attire is different from that of a carpenter. The type of clothing that we wear varies from situation to situation. The type of clothes that you are wearing in the dream will give you clues to the meaning of the dream and to your unconscious ideas about yourself and others. ( I was picking out new clothes to wear after transformation dream and mom ( The general image of "mother" in a dream may symbolize a variety of feelings and ideas: caring, nurturing, love, acceptance, hard work, sacrifice, martyrdom, etc.) was there - New status of caring, loving, nurturing, accepting, which probably bring up challenges on sacrifice and martyrdom )
Kidnapping = The main theme in abduction dreams is fear. The dreamer may be afraid of losing a very important part of himself or of losing his safest and most familiar surroundings. Also, the dreamer may be afraid of leaving his home, childhood, familiar support group, or long standing ideas. These type of dreams may be most prevalent during times of psychological or physical transition and during stressful times of life when the future is somewhat uncertain. Consider the details of your dream and try to isolate or identify the fear that created the dream. ( Fear of leaving long standing ideas - it wasn't really fearful experience as the kidnapping was stopped at the store door - so perhaps there is inkling of fear but nothing that would stop me at my tracks )
Zombie =  Dreaming about the living dead may carry a powerful message. If you are "walking around like a zombie," it usually means that you are emotionally disconnected from things going on around you. You may be experiencing unhealthy detachment and are unable to appropriately feel positive or negative emotions. Currently, you may be out of touch and outside of the main flow of life. This dream could positively sever you and help you to become aware of emotional issues and circumstances in daily life that are difficult to face. ( I saw zombies in one part of my dream - can't remember much but they were there, involving a bus )
Train = This dream symbol can be very complicated and its meaning is specific to the dreamer (as all dream symbols are). If you normally take the train to work and it is a part of your daily experience, closer attention should be paid to the other details of the dream. The train could also be symbolic of your need to move on and to do things in an orderly and sequential manner.  ( Details it is the only detail I recall is the hair-do competition - need to move on )
Hair = Hair is highly valued by most cultures. It is symbol of vanity, security, sensuality, sexual appeal, and of youth. In some cultures women are not allowed to show their hair outside their homes. Wealthy men go through painful surgery and spend thousands of dollars to replace lost hair follicles. Needless to say, hair is a valuable dream symbol. It represents physical and spiritual strength. Samson's hair was the source of his strength and virility. In our dreams hair can represent our thoughts, knowledge, and reasoning. White or gray hair represents age and wisdom while body hair may symbolize protection and warmth. When interpreting this dream make attempts to identify a primary issue and connect it to a situation in your daily life. ( Alright! So I have this Need to move on (train) from vanity, sexual appeal, youth competition as I didn't take part on the competition in the train - hair also present spiritual and physical strength, so perhaps it is because of those that I move on from these vanities )
Anger = This may be a carry-over from your daily life. In our dreams we can experience and express such feelings safely. Feeling great anger in your dream may be disturbing but pay attention to it and attempt to deal with all of your emotions in a more appropriate and productive manner. ( I was angry because I had to wait unreasonably long, I was afraid I'd miss the bus )
Bus = If the bus and/or the bus ride was a focal point of the dream consider the value that it holds for you. Does this dream say something about your ability to "fit in" and join a group effort, project, or trip? Do you function well in group settings? Are you a leader or a follower in such situations, and what is your comfort level? This dream could also reflect a part of your life (or the journey of your life) which involved many other people who seemed to be on a same path. It could be your family, friends, schoolmates or co-workers. ( That's the thing I do not fit it, I am not a leader or a follower in "society" I pull away from it and want sort of nothing to do with these Groups, not matter if they have family in them (there was an aunt in the bus and I ignored her like I did everyone else as well) or not. So why was I worried of missing the bus? )

~ ☆ ☮ ☆ ~

Niina's Dream Interpretation: This dream indicates I myself am in charge of my life and that will cause a meaningful transformation of something old to something new. This will bring warmth, affection, and happiness into my life, with the main theme of Peace and Joy. It seems while this takes place I am taken care of by spiritual guides of mine.

This will bring up a new status of caring, loving, nurturing, accepting, which probably will bring up challenges on sacrifice and martyrdom, even if there is kindness it doesn't mean one should let themselves be "used" and have to sacrifice part of themselves for others or to become a martyr by "dying" a little for a cause. No thank you.

There is fear of leaving long standing ideas, even though there wasn't really that much fear, I suppose letting go of such things as vanity, surface beauty, sexual appeal and youth market is somewhat scary. ;) What people think of you should not be a thought at all. ACiM talks about Illusions, and what others think of you is surely an illusion. We create our world, and even though we are co-creators it doesn't mean that anyone else's ideas of you should effect your idea of who you are.

Only you can decide how you feel about a matter, right? Only you can decide wither you like something, love something, no one can mix in with their emotion of the matter.
But we still let others ideas of us affect us. If someone looks down their nose at you, you feel a sting of 'oh there is something wrong with me' followed by 'that jerk'.
We give a lot of our power away due to physical differences in our bodies if we are not careful.

This is notoriously harder on women, there is competition going on, who is more beautiful, who has most admirers, who has had most sex, who has had most boyfriends. Who has the best, most stylish clothes, most beautiful hair, who has the most expensive make-up, who applies it best.
I want absolutely nothing to do with this side of 3D femininity.
Why is it harder for women than men? Well I personally think it's because women are more emotion based than men, we can easily with our intuition pick up what others feel. Other women who feed this beauty competition infect it nicely to other women, who share it in their energy. I'm not oblivious on the magazine influence either, but I think mainly women keep this up on their emotional fields, feeding this energy to one another, until they stop the cycle by coming aware of this competition.


I haven't looked at commercial or adds for few months now, and I am feeling purified of this beauty competition energy - I still come in contact with this energy daily, being looked down the nose of the physical manifestation of my beautiful co-creating sisters, which hurts a little a first but I try giving them love in return. They seem so use to of being judged daily that they look confused that I answer their evaluation of me with a smile. I truly believe we should call this competition a tie and move on.
After all how are we any different in our original state?
This is a big lesson for women to learn, to stop competing and love genuinely.


Of course this leaves the door open for what could be called being meek - which can lead back to being under the power of men again. We do not want that in our co-creation of earth.
The competition of beauty is a use of Power, we do not need to give up this power but redirect it.
Redirect it to what? What is our energy more wisely used for?
Instead of competing between one beauty and other, how about we share it, all that power of truly emotional, highly energetic power to direct to Beauty... The Beauty of Caring, Beauty of Nurturing, Beauty of Art, Beauty of Helping, the Beauty of our Land, Beauty of our Home, Beauty of Giving what only women can give the Heart and Love that is bathed in this powerful protective, unconditional acceptance and bliss.

I speak of the power of women, because I am one, and because women need to evolve, we need to be sisters instead of competition. Sisters that create this Earth to be their original energetic manifestation.
Just like you and me have personal lessons to learn, men and women have their collective lesson to learn so that an Earth that is capable of manifesting it's original Highest Purpose.


Every woman can feel that stirring under their skin when we speak of the Power that is inherently feminine, it's like the unstoppable wave of the ocean - and that is true, each woman is a wave of the ocean that makes Feminine Power. Unstoppable.

Women on the Edge of Evolution - http://womenontheedgeofevolution.com/access/ - enter the password "women."

To finish this dream interpretation I think I found a way to transform my anger of not fitting in to these groups to something more appropriate and productive indeed.

Love, Light and Joy!

Niina

P.S. Following my dream revelation of my own, I got my hands to this free mp3 of the power women bring to the world when they recognize, honor, and express the gifts that are inherent in feminine energy. ♥ http://niinac.blogspot.com/2010/12/inherently-feminine-power-free-audio.html

DAY 9 OF BLUE STORM WAVESPELL

Day 9: July 4 - Blue Hand

"Blue Hand is associated with opening to receive spiritual tools. You have specific gifts and talents to claim. Through these tools, you are offered a way to interact with others and with your life process. Open fully. A feast of gifts and tools is spread before you to satisfy your spiritual hunger."

"Blue Hand represents the "beauty way", the ability to see intrinsic beauty within yourself and in all things. Living the beauty way requires being in your full beauty and power. From this place, your self-authority naturally flows. This is the position where your ego is aligned with divine will. When you are standing in your full beauty and power, your very presence invites others to be all that they are. To the Maya, Blue Hand represents the deer, the gentle, serenely aware guide who walks in fluid beauty and grace, opening and revealing."

Niina: Check back at the end of the day. :)

~*~

I played translator today, translating finnish - english and english - finnish at a barbeque. The day was complitely sunny, cloudless day, one of the warmest of the summer. I was showing the near by neighbourhood to my visiting sister-in-law, the sea shore, the Colonial Gardens then bit of 1900's old wooden town in Helsinki. If I can draw anything from this to Spiritual Tools is that I am still a Guide. 
And now looking back to this quote:

"Blue Hand represents the deer, the gentle, serenely aware guide who walks in fluid beauty and grace, opening and revealing." 

That is what I was. Not pushy, not rude, not stressed, or hectic - but very calm, serene and graceful showing the beauty of my country.
It took me a long time trying to figure out Day 9. Until I realized that I was a Guide all day, and then pieces felt to their proper places and I got it.
Bring on Day 10 and my trip to one of the oldest towns in Finland, circa 1345!