MY EGO AND ME IN A SPIRITUAL PATH

I am starting to feel something that could develop into frustration if I let it - it's due to the fact that I am still searching new ways to evolve spiritually, but what I find in the world now is something I've already dealt with, released and moved on.

Just this morning few moments ago I received a free small course on releasing mind to reach my goals and dreams. Which is fine, except I am past earthy goals and dreams such as being successful or rich or living in the Bahamas.

I am fully content with the state of my life, I do not need or want anything external or internal to change. Not any of my emotions, they all precious and tools for great self-knowledge which is part of our existence on this planet.

I am aware of the illusion of material life, I am aware of how much I need of material things to keep the body alive - all else, I do not need. I have no desire to be successful. Would someone please give even a semi-reasonable spiritual reason why we should have more than we need or more than another sister or brother of ours?

I do not feel comfortable with "goals" anymore - if I need something I take the necessary steps to acquire it, and if it is meant to be it is what I shall receive because it truly was needed. I have come to figure out that things I do not need I will not receive - I think this has been a theme to learn in this life time, along with what comes with that Lesson which is: Total freedom of Attachments of all things material. But it leaks into emotional life as well and I cannot say there are too many things I am attached to. 

Not being Attached I'd like to share doesn't mean you cannot feel sad when you two depart from each other.

As I write this I'm reminded of a recent article I read, "Ego Valaistumista Etsimässä" ( Ego Searching for Enlightenment ) in which the writer explores how the Ego wants to set out to find Enlightenment because it is one of those things it can be superior in than other people ( clever Ego, right ), so it sets out to get the perfect religion which it dictates is the one right religion, of course it is quite afraid of dying so eventually it gives and start to try and find reincarnation. After Ego is researched on this spiritual road it gets a guru, it sits under the feet of him and demands the Highest teachings from him. The ego loves to get the most exotic guru, because he can boast with it and beat other searchers of truth. After this Ego searches for knowledge on spiritual journeys and evolution, coming in contact with choices which separate him from others so that he can feel a bit more right than others again. When Ego comes across master of Light he wants to be one, and charges to the path but realizes soon that this would mean letting go of all kind of baggage. This Light is in front of it now and the Ego fears it, but as Light has entered the Ego cannot undo his actions and tries to focus on tidbits of knowledge instead of the Light of the Soul and divinity. But Ego soon sees there is not enough of organized information and hence it gets happy cause there are life times of information to go through and organize.

That is putting a very long article very shortly here, I recommend you get the newest Minä Olen, the article is there on pages 32-35. I wish it was in english as well as it is Amazing.

So why am I looking for more knowledge when all that I see is pretty much useless to me? Should I keep on looking for information, new ideas, and old ideas to evolve - or focus on the Light?

The Light is my life, it is in my Heart and Mind, in my Consciousness, it is in my sense of humor, and it is in the eyes of everyone I meet. So why am I hesitant to give my whole life to it - I have to work, it seems a contradiction. What if giving myself to the light fully means... But it won't, I know it won't. Silly Ego.

I can see it front of my eyes - that life, it's as easy as breathing, why would I not want to have that light in my life?

That said I am off to meditate!

Love, Light and Joy!

Niina